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Leaves of Grass (1860)
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SLEEP-CHASINGS.
1 I WANDER all night in my vision, |
Stepping with light feet, swiftly and noiselessly step-
ping and stopping,
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Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of
sleepers,
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Wandering and confused, lost to myself, ill-assorted,
contradictory,
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Pausing, gazing, bending, and stopping. |
2 How solemn they look there, stretched and still! |
How quiet they breathe, the little children in their
cradles!
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3 The wretched features of ennuyés, the white features
of corpses, the livid faces of drunkards, the sick-
gray faces of onanists,
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The gashed bodies on battle-fields, the insane in their
strong-doored rooms, the sacred idiots, the new-
born emerging from gates, and the dying emer-
ging from gates,
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The night pervades them and infolds them. |
4 The married couple sleep calmly in their bed—he
with his palm on the hip of the wife, and she
with her palm on the hip of the husband,
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The sisters sleep lovingly side by side in their bed, |
The men sleep lovingly side by side in theirs, |
And the mother sleeps, with her little child carefully
wrapped.
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5 The blind sleep, and the deaf and dumb sleep, |
The prisoner sleeps well in the prison—the run-
away son sleeps,
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The murderer that is to be hung next day—how
does he sleep?
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And the murdered person—how does he sleep? |
6 The female that loves unrequited sleeps, |
And the male that loves unrequited sleeps, |
The head of the money-maker that plotted all day
sleeps,
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And the enraged and treacherous dispositions—
all, all sleep.
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7 I stand in the dark with drooping eyes by the worst-
suffering and the most restless,
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I pass my hands soothingly to and fro a few inches
from them,
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The restless sink in their beds—they fitfully sleep. |
8 Now I pierce the darkness—new beings appear, |
The earth recedes from me into the night, |
I saw that it was beautiful, and I see that what is not
the earth is beautiful.
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9 I go from bedside to bedside—I sleep close with
the other sleepers, each in turn,
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I dream in my dream all the dreams of the other
dreamers,
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And I become the other dreamers. |
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10 I am a dance—Play up, there! the fit is whirling
me fast!
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11 I am the ever-laughing—it is new moon and twilight, |
I see the hiding of douceurs—I see nimble ghosts
whichever way I look,
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Cache, and cache again, deep in the ground and sea,
and where it is neither ground or sea.
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12 Well do they do their jobs, those journeymen divine, |
Only from me can they hide nothing, and would not
if they could,
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I reckon I am their boss, and they make me a pet
besides,
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And surround me and lead me, and run ahead when
I walk,
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To lift their cunning covers, to signify me with
stretched arms, and resume the way;
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Onward we move! a gay gang of blackguards! with
mirth-shouting music and wild-flapping pennants
of joy!
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13 I am the actor, the actress, the voter, the politician, |
The emigrant and the exile, the criminal that stood
in the box,
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He who has been famous, and he who shall be famous
after to-day,
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The stammerer, the well-formed person, the wasted
or feeble person.
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14 I am she who adorned herself and folded her hair
expectantly,
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My truant lover has come, and it is dark. |
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15 Double yourself and receive me, darkness! |
Receive me and my lover too—he will not let me go
without him.
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16 I roll myself upon you, as upon a bed—I resign
myself to the dusk.
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17 He whom I call answers me and takes the place of
my lover,
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He rises with me silently from the bed. |
18 Darkness! you are gentler than my lover—his flesh
was sweaty and panting,
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I feel the hot moisture yet that he left me. |
19 My hands are spread forth, I pass them in all
directions,
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I would sound up the shadowy shore to which you
are journeying.
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20 Be careful, darkness! already, what was it touched
me?
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I thought my lover had gone, else darkness and he
are one,
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I hear the heart-beat—I follow, I fade away. |
21 O hot-cheeked and blushing! O foolish hectic! |
O for pity's sake, no one must see me now! my
clothes were stolen while I was abed,
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Now I am thrust forth, where shall I run? |
22 Pier that I saw dimly last night, when I looked from
the windows!
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Pier out from the main, let me catch myself with you
and stay—I will not chafe you,
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I feel ashamed to go naked about the world. |
23 I am curious to know where my feet stand—and
what this is flooding me, childhood or manhood
—and the hunger that crosses the bridge
between.
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24 The cloth laps a first sweet eating and drinking, |
Laps life-swelling yolks—laps ear of rose-corn, milky
and just ripened;
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The white teeth stay, and the boss-tooth advances in
darkness,
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And liquor is spilled on lips and bosoms by touching
glasses, and the best liquor afterward.
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25 I descend my western course, my sinews are flaccid, |
Perfume and youth course through me, and I am
their wake.
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26 It is my face yellow and wrinkled, instead of the
old woman's,
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I sit low in a straw-bottom chair, and carefully darn
my grandson's stockings.
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27 It is I too, the sleepless widow looking out on the
winter midnight,
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I see the sparkles of starshine on the icy and pallid
earth.
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28 A shroud I see, and I am the shroud—I wrap a body
and lie in the coffin,
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It is dark here under ground—it is not evil or pain
here—it is blank here, for reasons.
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29 It seems to me that everything in the light and air
ought to be happy,
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Whoever is not in his coffin and the dark grave, let
him know he has enough.
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30 I see a beautiful gigantic swimmer swimming naked
through the eddies of the sea,
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His brown hair lies close and even to his head—
he strikes out with courageous arms—he urges
himself with his legs,
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I see his white body—I see his undaunted eyes, |
I hate the swift-running eddies that would dash him
head-foremost on the rocks.
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31 What are you doing, you ruffianly red-trickled waves? |
Will you kill the courageous giant? Will you kill
him in the prime of his middle age?
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32 Steady and long he struggles, |
He is baffled, banged, bruised—he holds out while
his strength holds out,
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The slapping eddies are spotted with his blood—
they bear him away—they roll him, swing him,
turn him,
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His beautiful body is borne in the circling eddies,
it is continually bruised on rocks,
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Swiftly and out of sight is borne the brave corpse. |
33 I turn, but do not extricate myself, |
Confused, a past-reading, another, but with darkness
yet.
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34 The beach is cut by the razory ice-wind—the wreck-
guns sound,
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The tempest lulls—the moon comes floundering
through the drifts.
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35 I look where the ship helplessly heads end on—I
hear the burst as she strikes—I hear the howls
of dismay—they grow fainter and fainter.
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36 I cannot aid with my wringing fingers, |
I can but rush to the surf, and let it drench me and
freeze upon me.
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37 I search with the crowd—not one of the company is
washed to us alive;
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In the morning I help pick up the dead and lay them
in rows in a barn.
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38 Now of the old war-days, the defeat at Brooklyn, |
Washington stands inside the lines—he stands on the
intrenched hills, amid a crowd of officers,
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His face is cold and damp—he cannot repress the
weeping drops,
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He lifts the glass perpetually to his eyes—the color
is blanched from his cheeks,
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He sees the slaughter of the southern braves confided
to him by their parents.
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39 The same, at last and at last, when peace is declared, |
He stands in the room of the old tavern—the well-
beloved soldiers all pass through,
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The officers speechless and slow draw near in their
turns,
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The chief encircles their necks with his arm, and
kisses them on the cheek,
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He kisses lightly the wet cheeks one after another—
he shakes hands, and bids good-by to the army.
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40 Now I tell what my mother told me to-day as we sat
at dinner together,
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Of when she was a nearly grown girl, living home
with her parents on the old homestead.
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41 A red squaw came one breakfast-time to the old
homestead,
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On her back she carried a bundle of rushes for
rush-bottoming chairs,
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Her hair, straight, shiny, coarse, black, profuse, half-
enveloped her face,
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Her step was free and elastic, and her voice sounded
exquisitely as she spoke.
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42 My mother looked in delight and amazement at the
stranger,
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She looked at the freshness of her tall-borne face, and
full and pliant limbs,
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The more she looked upon her she loved her, |
Never before had she seen such wonderful beauty and
purity,
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She made her sit on a bench by the jamb of the fire-
place—she cooked food for her,
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She had no work to give her, but she gave her
remembrance and fondness.
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43 The red squaw staid all the forenoon, and toward the
middle of the afternoon she went away,
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O my mother was loth to have her go away! |
All the week she thought of her—she watched for
her many a month,
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She remembered her many a winter and many a
summer,
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But the red squaw never came, nor was heard of
there again.
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44 Now Lucifer was not dead—or if he was, I am his
sorrowful terrible heir,
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I have been wronged—I am oppressed—I hate him
that oppresses me,
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I will either destroy him, or he shall release me. |
45 Damn him! how he does defile me! |
How he informs against my brother and sister, and
takes pay for their blood!
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How he laughs when I look down the bend, after the
steamboat that carries away my woman!
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46 Now the vast dusk bulk that is the whale's bulk, it
seems mine,
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Warily, sportsman! though I lie so sleepy and slug-
gish, my tap is death.
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47 A show of the summer softness! a contact of some-
thing unseen! an amour of the light and air!
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I am jealous, and overwhelmed with friendliness, |
And will go gallivant with the light and air myself, |
And have an unseen something to be in contact with
them also.
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48 O love and summer! you are in the dreams, and
in me!
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Autumn and winter are in the dreams—the farmer
goes with his thrift,
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The droves and crops increase, and the barns are well-
filled.
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49 Elements merge in the night—ships make tacks in
the dreams,
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The sailor sails—the exile returns home, |
The fugitive returns unharmed—the immigrant is
back beyond months and years,
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The poor Irishman lives in the simple house of his
childhood, with the well-known neighbors and
faces,
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They warmly welcome him—he is barefoot again, he
forgets he is well off;
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The Dutchman voyages home, and the Scotchman
and Welshman voyage home, and the native of
the Mediterranean voyages home,
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To every port of England, France, Spain, enter well-
filled ships,
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The Swiss foots it toward his hills—the Prussian goes
his way, the Hungarian his way, and the Pole
his way,
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The Swede returns, and the Dane and Norwegian
return.
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50 The homeward bound, and the outward bound, |
The beautiful lost swimmer, the ennuyé, the onanist,
the female that loves unrequited, the money-
maker,
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The actor and actress, those through with their parts,
and those waiting to commence,
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The affectionate boy, the husband and wife, the voter,
the nominee that is chosen, and the nominee that
has failed,
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The great already known, and the great any time
after to-day,
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The stammerer, the sick, the perfect-formed, the
homely,
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The criminal that stood in the box, the judge that
sat and sentenced him, the fluent lawyers, the
jury, the audience,
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The laugher and weeper, the dancer, the midnight
widow, the red squaw,
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The consumptive, the erysipelite, the idiot, he that
is wronged,
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The antipodes, and every one between this and them
in the dark,
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I swear they are averaged now—one is no better
than the other,
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The night and sleep have likened them and restored
them.
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51 I swear they are all beautiful! |
Every one that sleeps is beautiful—everything in
the dim light is beautiful,
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The wildest and bloodiest is over, and all is peace. |
52 Peace is always beautiful, |
The myth of heaven indicates peace and night. |
53 The myth of heaven indicates the Soul; |
The Soul is always beautiful—it appears more or it
appears less—it comes, or it lags behind,
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It comes from its embowered garden, and looks
pleasantly on itself, and encloses the world,
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Perfect and clean the genitals previously jetting, and
perfect and clean the womb cohering,
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The head well-grown, proportioned and plumb, and
the bowels and joints proportioned and plumb.
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54 The Soul is always beautiful, |
The universe is duly in order, everything is in its
place,
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What is arrived is in its place, and what waits is
in its place;
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The twisted skull waits, the watery or rotten blood
waits,
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The child of the glutton or venerealee waits long, and
the child of the drunkard waits long, and the
drunkard himself waits long,
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The sleepers that lived and died wait—the far
advanced are to go on in their turns, and the
far behind are to go on in their turns,
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The diverse shall be no less diverse, but they shall
flow and unite—they unite now.
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55 The sleepers are very beautiful as they lie unclothed, |
They flow hand in hand over the whole earth, from
east to west, as they lie unclothed,
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The Asiatic and African are hand in hand—the
European and American are hand in hand,
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Learned and unlearned are hand in hand, and male
and female are hand in hand,
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The bare arm of the girl crosses the bare breast of
her lover—they press close without lust—his
lips press her neck,
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The father holds his grown or ungrown son in his
arms with measureless love, and the son holds
the father in his arms with measureless love,
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The white hair of the mother shines on the white
wrist of the daughter,
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The breath of the boy goes with the breath of the
man, friend is inarmed by friend,
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The scholar kisses the teacher, and the teacher kisses
the scholar—the wronged is made right,
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The call of the slave is one with the master's call, and
the master salutes the slave,
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The felon steps forth from the prison—the insane
becomes sane—the suffering of sick persons is
relieved,
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The sweatings and fevers stop—the throat that was
unsound is sound—the lungs of the consumptive
are resumed—the poor distressed head is free,
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The joints of the rheumatic move as smoothly as ever,
and smoother than ever,
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Stiflings and passages open—the paralyzed become
supple,
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The swelled and convulsed and congested awake to
themselves in condition,
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They pass the invigoration of the night, and the
chemistry of the night, and awake.
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56 I too pass from the night, |
I stay a while away O night, but I return to you
again, and love you.
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57 Why should I be afraid to trust myself to you? |
I am not afraid—I have been well brought forward
by you,
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I love the rich running day, but I do not desert her
in whom I lay so long,
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I know not how I came of you, and I know not where
I go with you—but I know I came well, and
shall go well.
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58 I will stop only a time with the night, and rise
betimes,
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I will duly pass the day, O my mother, and duly
return to you.
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