For many days I have tried to write you, but the pressure is so great that I can't get the moment to sit down, for as yet I am the only nurse, & my duties are constant, much of the time. If things get worse I shall have to have a man loc_as.00226_large.jpg to help me lift & nurse William.1 This morning after your card came2 he asked me to write & tell you how very ill he is. The attack he had on the 18th was less severe than the one a year ago on the 16th of Jan. but he is so much worse in all other ways, & loc_as.00227_large.jpg the lower limbs so useless that all is harder for him. He feels discouraged for the first time, & says the outlook is very gloomy. His constant annoyance from the bladder trouble now is worse than all else, & so far the Doctors have not reached it at all. loc_as.00228_large.jpg If Dr. Bucke3 comes in soon can he not, will he not, be able to run over & call on us? I am sure he could advise me how to nurse & care for William in the best hospital manner,—as yet he has not at all come to the idea that any one but me is needed,—& I don't mean to suggest it till I loc_as.00229_large.jpg have come to the point where I must, & can't do for him, but he is very helpless & very heavy.
I try to keep my courage up, & not to look ahead more than I must.
William sends love, & is always glad to hear. He can read but not write.
loc_as.00230_large.jpg With all best wishes, & with love— Nelly O'Connor.At this moment he is dressed & sitting up reading, but feeling very quiet, & very silent.
E. M. O'C.Correspondent:
Ellen M. "Nelly" O'Connor (1830–1913) was the
wife of William D. O'Connor (1832–1889), one of Whitman's staunchest
defenders. Before marrying William, Ellen Tarr was active in the antislavery and
women's rights movements as a contributor to the Liberator and to a women's rights newspaper Una. Whitman dined with the O'Connors frequently during his Washington
years. Though Whitman and William O'Connor would temporarily break off their
friendship in late 1872 over Reconstruction policies with regard to emancipated
African Americans, Ellen would remain friendly with Whitman. The correspondence
between Whitman and Ellen is almost as voluminous as the poet's correspondence
with William. Three years after William O'Connor's death, Ellen married the
Providence businessman Albert Calder. For more on Whitman's relationship with the O'Connors, see Dashae
E. Lott, "O'Connor, William Douglas [1832–1889]" and Lott's "O'Connor (Calder),
Ellen ('Nelly') M. Tarr (1830–1913)," Walt
Whitman: An Encyclopedia, ed. J.R. LeMaster and Donald D. Kummings (New
York: Garland Publishing, 1998).