Walt Whitman to Peter Doyle, 3[–4] October [1873]

I rec'd your letter the first of the week, & was interested in your acc't​ of your week of laying off, & of the playing of the band under Schneider and Petrola1—also about City RR. men—I send my love & best respects to all of them—

—I have had a bad spell again this week—for three days I have had a succession of those blurs again—only very much worse than ever before—last night I slept pretty well, & havn't had any of them yet to-day, but my head feels sore & ready to have them, almost if I move across the room—I am sitting here, feeling pretty bad,  loc.01753.002.jpg my head unsettled and dizzy—I don't go out any more—but am up & dressed—

—Still Pete I do not get discouraged but think it will pass over, & I shall feel better, & strong enough to come back to Washington—Still I don't know—I think it best to face my situation—it is pretty serious. I send you a card—& if I should get bad, I will certainly send you word, or telegraph—I will write Monday or Tuesday next—We have moved into my brother's new house—I am up in the 3d story room, fronting south—the sun is shining in bright—it is beautiful October weather here—My brother had a large room, very handsome, on 2d floor, with large bay window fronting west built for me, but I moved up here instead, it is much more retired, & has the sun—I am very comfortable here indeed, but my heart is blank & lonesome utterly

11 o'clock a.m.—sitting by the window—1st floor

I have just been talking with a young married RR man Thomas Osler, I fell in with—he has a bad bone-gathering on his left hand, a sort of felon, suffered greatly with it 5 days & nights—had it lanced yesterday, & is better—he stood by the open window, 1st floor, & talked with me, while I sat in an arm-chair inside—he is a regular RR. man—you could tell by the cut of his jib, low collar, cap, clean shirt (for holiday) dark complexion, & hard dark hands. I took quite a fancy to him & of course, I suppose he did to me—I believe he works on the locomotive

—Pete you must tell me how you put in the past week—I like such a letter as your last one—written two or three different times—It gave me a good idea of what you are doing—& also of how things look in Washington.—I have written a line to Col. Hinton & shall write a line to Eldridge—

3 o'clock p.m.—My head is feeling very sore & touchy & sensitive—I dont go out—I have re-written my will2—What little I have to leave I have left mainly to my lame brother Ed, poor man—Pete I have left you $200 & my gold watch—(but it will be much better for us to spend the money together, & I have no doubt we shall do so) This house is quite pleasant—it is on the corner—fronts south—side to west—plenty of light and air—and view—

This afternoon I am quite in hopes I am getting better of my spells to-day—as I have not yet had any actual spells, though I have felt pretty sick all day. But I have been up all day, & eat quite a breakfast, and quite a bite for dinner—

Pete I have written plainly, because I want you to be prepared, if any thing should happen to me—but I tell you honest, I still think I shall pull through—& that I shall be able to write better news early next week—don't you be alarmed yet