Hydropathy

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HYDROPATHY.

No people are so bigoted as the advocates of water-cure. They are perpetually telling their acquaintances of the benefits and advantages of the internal and external applications of the universal fluid. They are perpetually insulting and crowing over those persons whose skin happens to be in a natural state. ‘You don’t wash yourself enough,’ is their delicate suggestion. ‘You should have a shower-bath every morning, summer and winter, as I do. Do you know, whether the ice is broken or not, into my bath I go every day of my life?’ If the people are fools enough to make themselves thus miserable—for we have seen them eyeing those hideous engines of ablution, with unmistakable expressions of agony and fear—what is it to others? And why should they boast of it? If it is so very delightful as they give out, why don’t they keep the precious discovery to themselves, as their custom is with regard to other matters? If they really have the assurance to think themselves cleaner than other people, they should at least have the modesty to be silent upon that matter of superiority. Even the ‘unco guid,’ the extra pious, however sanctimonious, and spiritually proud they may appear, do not go about with a brazen trumpet, like those cold water worshippers. ‘We bathe,’ say these ‘thrice in the day; we use the shower-bath, the long-bath, the hip-bath, the foot-bath; we have horse-hair bands, horse-hair gloves, horse-hair brushes, to scour ourselves withal. All are unclean save ourselves, who are scarcely ever out of cold water from morning to night.’ The only reply which we have found to be in the least efficacious against one who boasts himself of three perpetual ablutions, is the following: ‘Well, some people do seem to need a good deal more cleaning than others.’ It is not a graceful rejoinder, but the discomfiture of the vain-glorious hydropathist is certain.