The Finale of the Free Love Convention

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THE FINALE OF THE FREE LOVE CONVENTION.

One of the most amusing things we have read for some time, is the report of the winding up of the Free Love Convention at Utica. All the mental deformities and intellectual monstrosities of the Union were there collected—the strong minded women, the half crazy advocates of every fanatic ism, were out in full force. Each one had discovered a royal road to Utopia—each one had a special, unfailing, exclusive panacea for the disorders of the physical and moral world. Each philosopher, male and female, propounded his or her pet scheme, and thereby pushed the theory of his neighbor out of joint, until at last the Convention which was to have taught peace and harmony to the world, found itself breaking up in confusion.

The most sensible speech of the entire session, was by a negro named Randolph, who disagreed with nearly every leading idea that the rest advanced. He said that the unwise action of these loud-mouthed friends of abolition had done more to harm his race than all the slave-holders of the South! He hesitated not to say that God had been blasphemed from that platform most outrageously. The resolution of Mrs. Julia Branch, legitimatizing all children, whether born inside or outside of wedlock, he could not approve. It might do for others, but he desired his sister and his daughter to go to the embrace of her husband as pure as she left her mother’s arms.

Emboldened by this, a Brooklynite named George Heath, offered a series of resolutions in the same strain, utterly repudiating the teachings of the leading spirits of the Convention. We extract a sample:

Resolved, That mind dwelling on pet hobbies makes a rack of the brain, where harmony previously existed, and this is the source of all the eccentricities we have encountered in the Hall.

Resolved, That Mr. Tuey's trouble with his wife is his own affair, and he exhibited great folly in asking the Convention to endorse his treatment of her; and we think it would be unwise to change the law of divorce so as to enable him to free himself—the world would be full of Tueys wanting to leave their wives.

Resolved, That the Union ought not to be jurors or generals; "her artistic procreative work" would seriously interfere with the performance of these duties.

Resolved, That there is nothing new under the sun, and the hobbies of the Convention have engrossed the eccentricities of all ages; Swedenborg, Volney, Voltaire, Tom Hobbs, Tom Paine, Hume, Godwin, Betsey Gamp and Becky Sharp, have discussed all these things to the final disgust of a once admiring audience.

The Convention, however, had not the wisdom to adopt these sensible resolves; but on motion of an Albany lobby-man named Bungay, voted to lay them on the table, and adjourned sine die.

Very many good orthodox people are horrified at the assembling of these Conventions, and think it very wicked in the press to give publicity to their proceedings; but for our own part, we think such gatherings do a great service to the cause of rational philanthropy and religion. The extravagance of religious fanaticism and bigotry often disgusts thinking people, and inclines them to be looser and more “liberal” in their views and opinions than they would otherwise be; and so the proceedings of these Conventions, as evidences of the fanaticism and folly of irreligion, go far to correct one’s tendencies to scepticism. If the free-thinker can point to the vagaries of Ranters¹ and Mormons as signs of how far creeds and systems can lead men astray, the religionist can well retort by instancing the reports of such proceedings as those of Utica, to show how men and women who acknowledge subjection to no creed can emancipate themselves not only from religious, but from every moral and social obligation or restraint.

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