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(Which I did—having first kissed him—then for the rest of the time of my stay held his hand in my own

W.: "Yes, that is my wish." H.L.T.: "Then I should open the mail?" W.: "Yes, boy—if you will.

W.: "Let him have it—yes, have it—send it, along with my regards: you will find a bundle of the books

And if things cross my mind any time, I will say something to somebody here, so they are not forgotten

His eyes were shut most of the time, though now and then they partly opened as if to catch my face as

I would not have put it a cent below ten dollars if I had had my way.

W. and Harned both broke in on my reading vigorously.

"When I get out again my first visit will be to that baby."

ideas—break my spirit."

"That's the copy I used to take to the play with me—in my pocket: carried along in my walks: kept with

"No—they would not fear it as my friends but as journalists.

My father used to say, a good time to pay your debts is when you have the money.

Asked him what he thought of my sending set of Lippincott's proofs to Kennedy?

And laughed heartily over my account of W.'s reception of her letter.

He looked very bad—very bad: it was a pull at my heart to look him in the face.

life, of my faith—and just as it stands—every word, every word.

Many things are now going on—I depend upon you: you are more than my right arm."

"It seems to answer all my notions—whims, you might call them.

Some of my best friends—my own people—accuse me (have always accused me) of procrastination—the most

That might apply wonderfully well to my case." He was silent.

And yet he added: "My physical disabilities don't affect my power to think: no: not at all: but they

increase my inertia: they paralyze my fingers, for instance, so I don't want to write: but my brain keeps

My dear Horace:Yours of 18th just to hand.

"But it will turn up, in some one of my searches, and whatever happens, it is yours, Horace—yours to

Quick to see roll in my hand. "What is it? What?"

I expressed my liking for Kennedy's "Dutch Traits of Walt Whitman." Read the manuscript last night.

I shook my head—Williams exposing me—I arguing, "I don't see the bitterness of it."

and I reported my quotation—he suddenly exclaiming, "Bosh! Bosh!"

W. has at last started reading Tolstoy's My Confession.

If I could only know that it has pleased you I should bless my stars fervently.I have been in vain trying

feeling sure of your friendship and I should try to live the real life there for your sake as well as for my

"One thing is gone utterly and forever—my agility," he said as we walked across the room. Sat down.

Gave me Herald containing the review: again approved "its excellent good judgment in letting me state my

the check matter had turned out and he at once answered: "They report against me in the bank: it was my

believed that the check came, was endorsed, banked, never acknowledged—since then totally wiped out of my

I hardly know myself: I know I get my pay for it, and that is the chief thing as matters go now!"

, W. retorting: "Never mind, the expression on my face atones for all that is lacking in his.

hands—some of the funds of the department at my disposal—urging me to investigate, report.

That is my expectation.

As I have always understood Eakins, half of the picture is his, half mine—and my half I promised to Dr

"Yes, I suppose: and now you can witness my wish in the matter—that Bucke shall have it in payment—or

my interest in it—and Eakins' lien, too, if Eakins will assent to it."

When I entered I excused my cold hand. W. thereupon held it.

Give my best regards to Whitman.

He laughed gently and responded, "Yes, caution, caution—it is my old virtue!"

Now he inquired, "Is there any news of the literatures—anything at all my kind?"

I consider Ingersoll and Symonds my proof.

"You are not the least of my comforts, Horace!" he exclaimed.

he asked, as I looked at the frontispiece—and on my saying what he was, fully—"Oh yes!

Asked after my work last night—seemed and said he was "pleased that you got out so well."

She said: "Oh, I haven't paid my visit: now I'll say goodnight: I'll not see you again tonight."

Morse went on: "But I shall take them to the Art Institute when I go—my lecture is postponed on account

The police captains kicked vigorously against that judge's decision, but have finally quieted down."

"I may write something with it as my text."

Better than my other books?' 'Oh, much better,' and he named the figures.

Questioning me of Lumholz—I promised sometime in my leisure to give him an account of curious bits of

It is so with me—I have stuck and stuck—through a something within me which my enemies would think hopeless

previous poems of the then contemporaneous—"You are quite right there—I am fully convinced on that point—my

One of my questions was this: "Do you really think Dick Stoddard has personal feeling against you?"

"And yet that, too, has its best of reasons—its best—and I can easily admit it—it belongs with my philosophy

Left him my written notes of the talk with Stedman on 27th.

office alone with my books and pen.

Told him however of my possible sale of "Two Rivulets."

Found my copy in the next room, but it contained no portrait.

Hurry him up—tell him I want my grog." I went downstairs.

"My God, no!

"You may go along, to give my step a sort of certainty."

Just today I read Bucke out of my notes W.'

My God!" W. mockingly said: "Maurice, you shock me!"

and still my withers are unwrung!"

s "sonorous verse," W. thereupon: "That sounds good: I hope the verse is sonorous: I have my many many

"Take these—mere reminders—with my remembrance, my affection."

And to my questions: "I should not object to appearing in Scribner's if they paid me for it.

I have been so often cuffed—met not only incivility but downright and cowardly insult—I must pick my

My main point has been, to get it out. It seems a part of the explication of 'Leaves of Grass.'

Yes, I read your paragraph—it is just—I endorse it—it is my view, too.

And I often think I second that—answer it in my own heart."

Give her my dear love —tell her I had it here at my supper—that it was my sweetest morsel—that it was

But when I insisted that it would he added, "Well, you have my warm espousal.

Lingered a while and read my mail. Burroughs writes a postal, 22nd.

Very loving and cordial, as always: held my warm hand in his cold palm and remarked its warmth.

W. then: "That other man was my friend: he was in Canada, Stead in England: curious, wasn't it?"

original poem I wrote—three page poem [Whispers of Heavenly Death] sent him from me, but demurs to my

I repeat, that I distinctly reserve the right of printing the piece in a future edition of my poems.

only crude—yet has some good points in it, which I took in.I am in great mourning that I can't get my

Well," exclaimed W., when I laid the letter down on my knee and looked at him: "Well—that is a fusillade

I more and more question if the modern men can enact such comedy as had the boards in my young days.

I have been busy with my pen, turning out pot-boilers, nothing else.

My opinion is that life is becoming pretty thin.

It will be my last volume—my finale—without a doubt.

So this will really be my good-bye!" Then into details.

My first point will be to get all the batch of copy—the poetry—into galleys at once: it probably would

Wrote Creelman, specifying my notions of the flower business and W.'

Warning again against appeals, speaking of my fund and of W.'

Defined my message to Creelman.

Adding, "Give her my love: tell her to take the best care of herself."

I often rub my eyes to see if much or most of this kindness is not a dream."

"My opinion is that I have no opinion!

My dear Sir,Yours of 27 January, and Leaves of Grass, received.

and therefore my allusion to it.

I had told Dowden of my not having received any reply to my cards or letters and my apprehension that

That's all there is to my hoarding up these records—as you call it.

that Latchford, according to Morse's letter, was greatly impressed with the Morse bust as found in my

Called my attention to a couple of transposed lines in the Lippincott's galley proof—prose.

He spoke of my cold hand, "You don't know how grateful it is to me: an immediate flavor of out-of-doors

You have touched upon the subject nearest & dearest to my heart.This idea of having William's descriptions

, so I get my sister to make the copy of the letter.If the story comes out in April & May, it will soon

Give him my love. & thank you, too, for the papers.I am glad Walt is so well & able to do his literary

Is acting on my idea to proceed with circular for book.

My dear Traubel:You are much in my thought these days—days to you of trembling hope and dread, of life

That would be my last and sweetest prize, tuft, plume, gift—Manhattan Island—my first love."

But this is one of my bad days—one of my worst—and I am not up to a talk with you.

Take my love, dear boy—and take with you, too, my best remembrance to all the fellows in New York, telling

Gave him account of my talk with McKay. W.'

Johnston, I will keep mine for my own immediate people. Mary has that one copy downstairs now."

It is my idea: I won't let you have it for yourself alone."

And will you use my '72 L. of G. as sample? If not wd. you please send the '72 to me?

At any rate, he has my admiration for some things he has done—yes, admiration: and my personal love surely

He looked up into my eyes, a wonderful smile on his face as his grasp of my hand tightened: "Yes—I do

, my boy: I know you: I believe you."

My dear mother is living and well; we speak of you.

on Personalism—for both of which attentions you have my thanks.

So I rely upon a good account from you to make up for my loss."

And then he added to my remonstrance that the picture did not satisfy me—"I am not always sure but you

Then, however: "And yet my friend Arnold would say to all this: You would not talk so if you were a reader

W. saw my sister's inquiring look and knew what it meant.

At the worst, or best, give him the assurance of my warmest love, comradeship, honor.

I have been counting more upon visiting him, & upon reading to him some of my lecture-work, than upon

any other feature of my trip to Phila. next month.

I put my disengaged hand in my pocket and drew them forth. "Could you hear them?"

"Then it is time for my medicine." Took it. Hiccough continues.7.45 Turned on right side.

He took his watch out—adjusted—"I am slow—my watch like me." Shook hands. Reading local papers.

Passed then to another topic: "I have my poems back from the Arena—the editor—Flower—says poems are a

drag on his hands—or indicates it—and wants my prose."

Took an orange he had laid out on the bed—gave into my hands: "Give this to your mother—tell her I send

I did not stay for my long talk.

W. lying on the bed but did not stay there long after my coming. Greatly interested in the weather.

Called my attention to Lippincott's. "I want you to take it along.

Asked about Tolstoy's My Religion and My Confession: did not know but he "might read them"—at any rate

Harned—my love—my greetings of the season—enough for her, for the baby—then for all the rest?"

Horace, think of having a doctor settled down on my doorstep!

On the chair a sprig of holly, which he called my attention to.

I have been speculating what to do with the letter—whether to send it on one of my combination trips—to

If it was dropped, it must have been for some good reason—for I have my reasons—to me the best of reasons—for

"Take my books!

Long ago I first came across them—cherished them: they have been part of my household for many years—a

You can tell so much better than I what will be his needs, or his momentary desire.With my best wishes

My mind is greatly relieved by this letter—of course there remains the paralysis, W.'

I go to Philadelphia and to my desk with a heavy heart.

My dear Traubel:I am more pained than I can express to see, by the morning papers, that dear, good, great

My hope is that the reports are exaggerated, but I fear the worst.

After my own tussle with the Angel, however, I am constrained to send a message of Life and Hope.

We regard Bob's telegram as an acceptance—a response to my morning's telegraphic message.

to be none the worse for his shaking up, or down, of which he remarked, "Yes, I tumbled: at least, my

easily—in fact, let myself go—and when down, rested there till Mary Davis came up and helped me to my

My legs are hardly able to hold me up anymore: the steel is given out—all out."

Never looked up till the reading was done, then saying, "I don't see what good my Burns would do them

Sheets of my Burns might be sent, if I could fish them out. But even that is doubtful."

.: "I have a note—buy my note refers me to yours." He put on his glasses without a word.

vellum is one of my lady's chairs, pretty to look at, carved, delicate, polished—but for heaven's sake

Then as he read on: "Ed, you rascal—why don't you appear with my letter?"

My expectations for it are not pecuniary—not at all.

W. remembered that this is my birthday.

"You look as if you had come in out of the mists," he said—as I had—the fog strong—my coat collar up—moistened

Called my attention to Herbert Aldrich's book, turned—open—face down—on a pile of papers.

But as to my proposed letter quizzing Edward Emerson he was still doubtful.

W. in his own room—had untied manuscript "Good-Bye My Fancy"—had it spread out in his lap, the table,

My only apprehension was, that the thing was sent and miscarried someway in the mails.

that I could get out, that I could practically demonstrate my admiration, my applause!

"That was my own feeling: I wondered if he had anything to say.

And not, besides, be square with my known principles, for, as with Emerson, I claim Shakespeare for the

I will expose you by the exactness of my portrait!

I quoted John's phrase: "Try life my own master."

I had the letter in my pocket. I said: "I want to read a line or two from O'Connor's letter."

My eye got open at last but is still bleary and bad.

My present trial is a festered penfinger, sore as death, and preventing me writing.

It is one of my afflictions, though without pain.

There were several of my friends present there—vehement friends—and they thought I had made a great mistake

Called my attention to a letter from McKay. "He enclosed me payment for the three books.

And to my remark: "Australia is more American than English, anyway—" he said: "Yes, it is so: see how

Upstairs in his room W. reading—looking not over well—yet cheerful in mien and speech—though in reply to my

question saying, "I still stay at my low ebb—these are dark days."

It was bright sunshine in my room here as long as she stayed."

splendid praise and approval.To know that a man like yourself understands me is enough and with all my

In my hands it would not have been so certain of delivery."

"My body is a splendid barometer." Gave him today's Herald containing the Sheridan piece.

I never wrote one, never even got it laid out, but never forgot my intention.

of my book?

I always decided against it—always came round to one conclusion—always planted my heel on the temptation

"I see what it all means—it is in accord with my own experience with me: a man of heart often suffers

"In my opera days, I always took care to get a libretto the day before, then took care to leave it at

And on my saying "yes" and saying I wished he might see him, he looked dubious.

wonderful good—you cannot bring the shells home to your room or the sound of the sea or the skies—nor I my

old days, my youth, my forty years ago, any more!"

Ed gave him my address but of course he did not come to see me.

word that it was "too late"—saying, however—"I took the liberty to take a few sentences from it for my

For instance, I doze—that has lately been my recourse—not to sleep, no—to doze—to lay on my back.

by his determination that I should discuss with him the other literary fellows— cèlébres—deliver him my

Johnston & Co.17 Union Square, New YorkAug. 4 1891Dear TraubelI enclose my check for $5.00.Isn't it terrible

I went to Leadville in '79, carried $38,000 worth diamonds and left my revolver in the hands of the makers