[See indexical note p396.2] 8.15 P.M. W. lay on his bed as I entered and talked from that place almost gaily and with apparent ease. "I seem to have improved this afternoon and evening: my mind is clearer than any day yet: less sore—with less of the drowsy befuddled feeling." Voice stronger, eye clearer. But when I helped him to his chair I found him almost a dead weight. Even suggested going down stairs to supper. Baker headed him off by appearing in the room with the meal. "I felt that if I was ever going to make a move I had to start sometime." Osler not over today or to be over until Monday.
[See indexical note p396.3] Had he concluded the will at last? "Oh, it is done, Horace—I got it through today—my last will and testament and so forth—it is all signed and sealed. I wrote a short note to Dr. Bucke about it today: not much, but telling him: and if you write in the morning (I hope you will) you may tell him again—it won't hurt. If I keep on fooling with one will and another I won't know which is my last. I will have to look the will over a little for slips before letting it go: I am not certain of it as it stands: then it can be put in Tom's safe." Baker and Mrs. Davis were witnesses to the will.
[See
indexical note p396.4] W. had been reading Charles Morris' screed on himself in The American. "It is a surprising hubbub he makes, indeed—it reminds me of little children playing with jackstraws or brass ninepins or toy balloons. As to Frank's piece—Frank Williams'—I'm afraid that too failed to im-
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press me. I have been wondering whether the trouble is with them or with me—whether I have changed, gone back—somehow the fellows nowadays—so many of them—seem to be writing the strangest fol-de-rol." [See
indexical note p397.1] McKay said to me: "Charles Morris started out by saying he knew nothing about Walt Whitman and proved it." W. amused. "After all these literary fellows are so much alike—almost the whole crew (always excepting a fellow like Frank, who contains real stuff): I often find myself lost, absolutely lost, in their monkey-like mediocrities."
[See indexical note p397.2] W. said he had known Greeley and Raymond and Dana. "In a general way Dana was favorable to my work—not in any thorough-going fashion. I interest the newspaper men as one of the strange fellows—they look for freakish characters—it is among these I come in. How few of them—of all of them—actors, writers, professional men, laborers—on whom you can't put a tag. [See indexical note p397.3] There was Emerson—they never could hold him: no province, no clique, no church: and there was Lincoln, who did his duty, went his way, untrammelled: but there are few others. I slipped out, avoided the beaten paths, tried a way of my own—that was my experiment. Has it failed or succeeded?"
Talked of his "medicine men," as he calls them. "Dr. Baker is a faithful henchman—obeys orders—puts me through the mill—I have to submit. Osler, too, has his points—big points. But after all the real man is Dr. Bucke. [See indexical note p397.4] He is the top of the heap. He has such a clear head, such a fund of common sense—such steady eyes—such a steady hand. As you say, Bucke is a scientist, not a doctor: he has had severe personal experiences—is an expert in questions involving the mind—is in every sort of a way a large man—liberal, devoted, far-seeing. I especially owe him so much—Oh so much!"
[See
indexical note p397.5] W. said: "I see that I shall write no more." "Nonsense," I exclaimed. He laughed outright. "More nonsense?" he
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asked. I told him people sometimes asked me whether he possessed any sense of humor. "And you say—" "Then I tell them a few of your stories and get them convulsed." "Does that convince them?" [See
indexical note p398.1] "It makes an impression. W. added: "So they think I am funereal—that I live in a coffin—that I am solemn—never laugh—look down my nose—so—" and to prove that he never laughs he laughed. [See
indexical note p398.2] "I have been intending for forty years to put on record the fairest picture I could conjure of Elias Hicks. Now I seem too far gone to do the job. I think I am or have been peculiarly fitted, equipped—having the run of certain facts—to do this for him."
[See indexical note p398.3] W. said to me tonight again as he has before: "Some day you will be writing about me: be sure to write about me honest: whatever you do do not prettify me: include all the hells and damns." Adding: "I have hated so much of the biography in literature because it is so untrue: look at our national figures how they are spoiled by liars: by the people who think they can improve on God Almighty's work—who put an extra touch on here, there, here again, there again, until the real man is no longer recognizable."
[See indexical note p398.4] W. gave me a letter from Standish O'Grady. "You remember that Dowden alluded to him in one of the letters I turned over to you? He seems to have been a young man of great spirit—talent: of high and masterful ambition." I found W. had put this memorandum on the letter: "from Standish O'Grady: sent photos to him Dec. 14, '81." Where was Standish O'Grady now? "I do not seem to know." "Did he get diverted?" [See indexical note p398.5] "Possibly: he does not seem to have kept me on his list. The young fellows come—the old men go—often, often: they serve an apprenticeship with me, in their youth, when they are getting their roots well in the soil—then they die, maybe become professional, adopt institutions, find that Walt Whitman will no longer do."