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I was out in my chair yesterday—Warrie took me and we went up towards the city hall.

W. said: "It is so, too: the real doctor, the genuine scientist—he is my man—he every time.

"Still I am not mad at him only, but fond of him too—and my sneaking notion is, to go there again."

As to the pocket edition: "I stick to my liking.

sent up to Tom some scraps, debris, quite a bundle for his Philadelphia lawyer-friend"—and noticing my

At my advice W. will probably pile the folded sheets up in his own room.

Why, I could have lifted my hand and flung him over his bed"—motioning with great energy—"and yet he

I would come in he woke up, and I would lean down and kiss him, he would reach out his hand and pat my

he wandered a good deal of the time—I would say "Erastus, don't you remember me—don't you remember my

In my limited talks with him he told me about his brothers and sisters, and his parents, wished me to

Farewell, dear boy,—it was my opportunity to be with you in your last days,—I had no chance to do much

I send you and all Erastus' brothers and sisters my love.I live when at home in Brooklyn, New York, in

W. saw a copy of Unity in my hand. "What have you got there?"

I spoke of the absence of sun from this room—my regret that it was so.

He feels so well just now, he accepts my confidence.

And he added, "my sister-in-law was here today.

W. then: "Well—Baptist: it is the same thing for my purposes.

Monday, May 5, 1890I at 5.40 on my way home.

us—he has a couple of black colts, the finest, and harness to match—and I am ashamed of myself for my

Gave me My Book and I to take over in the morning—that "to be the opening piece."

That's because I don't always agree with my- self about Stedman.

W. jumped on me for my "radical violence."

"He has not sent the poem back—has not answered my note in any way. I do not understand it."

That may be true: I wouldn't go to the stake for my opinion on this subject."

"No—none at all: my only trouble was, that I insisted on eating supper after I got home: this was superfluous

I should announce that all I have to say I have said in my books, which anybody may buy for himself;"

My sister Agnes had sent him down some roses, which we arranged in a glass on the table, where Mrs.

At my age and in my state of health I can only enclose a slight token of goodwill, with the wish that

family knows or cares anything about my literary work, fame—none of them: it might just as well not

—"I had quite calculated on Alys, and her default—the default, anyhow, of most of the women—excites my

"Mount it on cardboard—get your father to—then bring it back to me and I'll put my name on it."

But my confidence and laughter finally got him laughing too.

Which is what my dear parents used to say of our friends, to close criticism.

Perhaps the handle to my name has been against me in America!

It has always been my idea that my proper works are of three periods: 'Leaves of Grass' in one volume

He was struck with it, "I carry the notion favorably in my eye."

entirely down in the mouth—I do not seem to have any scare in me—but I am wide awake to the fact of my

My little quarrel with Stedman is not about anything he does but because of something I think he could

I said: "That is my birthday."

My term's work is over and I am going away for a month, to Cambridge and Brighton.

I have to be true to my reputation."

As to the circular, he said in reply to my direct question: "Yes, I like it: It is in perfect good taste

It is a meaning I always invoke—a meaning, I hope palpably in all my work—to be drawn therefrom and acknowledged

Admired its printing.I spoke of my interest in Thoreau.

Says, "I continue to read my own book with the greatest admiration"—the press-work and paper so good

Told W. of it now, W. saying, "He was one of my earliest friends—a true one, too—a sweet attractive fellow—gemmie—I

I have lived to regret my Rossetti yes—I have not lived to regret my Emerson no.

But how much does a man succeed in setting me right, in arriving at my purpose, in getting my measure

(yes, my motive) who wants to expurgate me?

Then he exclaimed: "Horace, take my advice: never take advice!"

Take my word for it—don't take advice!" Rabelais was somehow talked about.

But this catarrhal affection bothers me a good deal—troubles my head."

How Emerson could ever have got spliced to her beats my explanation.

John had not yet had my postal about O'Connor—but writes of him—had read of it in the paper.

I know how keenly you must feel it, and you have my deepest sympathy.

No words come to my pen adequate to express the sense of the loss we have all suffered in the death of

know what is the signification of the legal term 'easement,' but it seems to me a very good word for my

bask in the sun—though Warren protests—I don't know but rightly: for these or things kin are cause of my

woe—at least according to my suspicions if not belief."

—that is one of my special points—to see them there.

And to my negative, "He is a good fellow—very friendly to me—I have met him—talked, walked with him—an

Her mother was my mother's cousin. Never met her before."

I have never forsworn my allegiance to the printers—never.

At any rate," looking directly at me, "take my authorization with you: I authorize you to promise just

Called my attention to the fact that the Long Islander reprinted my Lippincott's piece in full, giving

before I get the piece in my book."

Will write to Staffords myself & enclose facsimiles.I cannot write much tonight, though it is my last

think of Walt & to realize his condition all the time.It is a long, heavy, terrible strain for you, my

But I cannot overstep my limitations & circumstances. It is as foolish as vain to seek to do so.

I trust that you both realize that I give you from my heart what you have so nobly won, & steadfastly

My eyes filled with tears. I kissed his hands—his eyes opened an instant—looked me ineffable love.

stirs my curiosity—makes me wonder how far I survived in his good graces.

I reminded W. of Captain Lindell's wife, who suffered similarly. W.

oh my yes!" "I wondered: I wondered."

all the people who really know me, my work, consider, include, love, admire, William.

"Good: that's it: my soul won't let me. That's the way we have to keep up the balance."

"If I keep this way I fear for my promise to the club: still, I guess I won't: I guess there'll be a

And I told you what his vague answer was—that my four lines had appeared—that I came out there in company

with all my friends—Chamberlain, Boyle O'Reilly—naming others.

I send money to some poor friends—relatives, some of them—my sister, others—but, as I have told you,

I hate the whole thing more and more: the older I get, the fuller my conviction.

W. every day asks me about my copy of the Atlantic.

I send my unutterable sorrow. What can I do?"

Harned's views are my own that Mr.

Bucke says, "My God! It was like to wreck us all!

Bucke with me to my home to see Anne and talk.

My telegram from Ingersoll relieves us all.No heart for details for Bolton.

and good: if not then I shall run the risk and keep the sheets in my own hands."

book is of another order: it is the collected statement of my life— of my work: a statement of what

"It probably is a whim—my whimsicality—but so it must be."

Insisted on my taking the nickel for the paper.

This will be my birthday gift to the world, my last, my parting, gift: the world has made many birthday

I don't know if time and my own thought will justify that opinion—though it is not improbable.

My invitation to attend some sort of Whitman meeting, uptown [Philadelphia] Wednesday—residence of Adams

get up—whispered, 'Get on your feet—show yourself, if no more' or something of that sort—so up I got—my

And this launched us, my own talk, I suppose, verging on enthusiasm; he interjecting many questions.

Intensely interested in all I told him of the Ingersolls—firing at me question after question to enlarge my

Of course I cannot venture to give my opinion on the matter.

My eyes grow moist as I realize the sad, sad situation.

May heaven guide you to wisdom, my dear friend, my comrade indeed, my brother beloved.

'Good-Bye, My Fancy'—based, absorbed in, the natural.

And as he pressed my hand, he said slowly, "Good night." Mrs.

Asked me with a smile, "Did you get my proof?"

And to my yes, went on in a way to show he was nettled that things proceed so slow.

I put your copy in my piece to save trouble." Must look it up.

I shall get another copy as soon as I can get out—being for the moment housed—and shall then eat my cake

I must give you a copy then: I must have several here: he is one of my old—as also new—enthusiasms.

I insist on my cheap little figure"—here he raised his right foot into view and pointed to it with his

an argument: then, beyond all that, I should say this is anyhow not a question to be argued: after my

I took the slip out of my pocket and did so.

I folded the letter and the slip together, put them back in my pocket and looked at W. "Well?"

"I gave him my sweetest and best. What better can I do?" Asked, "Have you seen Youth's Companion?

But he said: "I am not myself today: I am very uncomfortable in my head: very uncomfortable in my belly

Went off to town to keep my appointment with Bucke.

My dear Walt:I snatch five minutes from writing up the wrecks.

I shook my head.

Said to Bucke: "I am not at my worst—neither at my best."

everywhere his own atmosphere of freedom, spontaneity, love—a great exhibit.Wrote both Warren and W. of my

My alarm was instant.

He held my hand warmly and firmly.

I may dance my last dance any day now.

He took my hand—held it saying: I feel more and more my dependence upon you—I feel more and more that

I questioned him sharply today and that is my impression."

"But," he added, "after all, the big book is the book, in my estimation: has a quality not imparted by

My effort has always been to pack, condense, solidify—to get my material into the smallest space compatible

When the big publishers—Harpers, the Century folks—issue a book, they use as many as my whole edition

Glad he approves idea of a little piece from Clifford.W. called my attention to "a couple of waifs—letters

Rose on my entrance, and went, with my assistance, to the chair.

"Have you heard of my latest splurge? No? Well—listen: I pulled a tooth today!

The fact is, I am on the move again, in spite of my disabilities."

"My eyes are poorly. It's so hot. You read it—read it for yourself—read it aloud."

"I am unable to do it myself: my pen can't go even on crutches."

W. wore his bright blue gown, and said: "I have just been out to my favorite companion—the river!

My mail today had also brought me letters from Rhys, Rolleston, Rossetti and William Morris.

89If convenient please give the bearer, for the Photo: Process Co: for me, the negative of the photo: my

But it was my fault you did not find 'em. I failed to tell Ed why I had placed them there."

I had a letter from Kerr, of Unity, saying he would publish my O'Connor article, which I had sent him

went to the parlor first, remarking: "Warrie—let us go in here: I don't know whether I'm standing on my

head or my heels."

As to my "trinity of Americans—Emerson, Lincoln, and Whitman"—he laughed heartily.

And to my word of gratefulness (from her) for his handkerchief W. said, "No, it is all right—tell her

W. remarked, "Today I received a proof of my little piece—it has gone back tonight.

"It was the finest I ever tasted—but I feel short of my measure of it—some one of the waiters must have

suppose I got as much as was good for me—am probably in better condition for not having all that was my

—adding with the same fire: "My 'verbal' suggestion would be for him to stop the whole thing at once.

Insisted on my taking Burroughs' Pepacton to read.

My few friends are a great host—my many enemies are a few."

Dear Walt:I have sent you the MS. of my letter to Bucke.

Do you see my dilemma?

But in reply to my question, without at all enlarging, he said his condition was "only so-so."

use Carpenter's previous letter (to W.) except passage giving amount of draft, in the little book.To my

Called my attention to it—then to what Forman said of it.He had seen the paragraph in today's Press headed

And to my "yes"—"Well, what was the result?"

Again, "I wonder if Stoddart will let me have another proof-slip of my piece?"

"I don't know why the devil he copied it—my copy was as plain—at least to me."

To my "yes"—"Well, I will see—will look it up overnight."

I wonder if he got my note?" Stoddart had told me of it.No copies "Good-Bye" in covers yet.

My dear Mr. Whitman, I received a few days since your last letter.

It is very pleasant to me to find you liked my ShakespereShakespeare book, but much more to know that

But I do not doubt that half-a-dozen of my friends will wish to have the books, so I should be obliged

I am commencing to feel my grip coming back."

The last three or four days have been the most desperately anxious days of my life.

Stopped in to see W. on my way home. He remarked my early coming. "You drop in en passant?"

"I wrote him yesterday—yes indeed—and told him that if the draft was sent for me, drawn to my order,

A young fellow called my attention to it on the boat. I related this to W.

Another of his expressions to me was this: "I do seem to have taken up my pen again.

My plan is to have my father oversee a good photographing of it—then to let it be photoengraved.

Williams'), but quickly read at my suggestion. How did he feel?

Once in my boyhood I saw his noble form and kindly face, but never have I grasped his democratic hand

from Concord, your letter reached me in Chicago, where I have been for a week awaiting the wedding of my

Give my earnest love to Walt Whitman on this memorial occasion, and tell him we think of him at Concord

I might, by setting every thing else at defiance, transport my body to the place of assembly, but by

I explained my reason. Then he said with a laugh: "Bless you!"

"It was a mighty thin mess," he replied upon my questioning him, "no body to it all: only ignorance,

Give Morris my love when you see him.

He came at a time when my head was having one of its most infernal turns.

I told Johnston that Doctor Bucke had saved my life. That is true, too.

If my article gave such an impression, it was one not intended.

Tell him I don't want him to discuss my Philadelphia and Camden friends."