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As I ponder'd in silence, Returning upon my poems, considering, lingering long, A Phantom arose before

Bear forth to them folded my love, (dear mariners, for you I fold it here in every leaf;) Speed on my

And so will some one when I am dead and gone write my life?

my real life, Only a few hints, a few diffused faint clews and indirections I seek for my own use to

BEGINNING MY STUDIES.

AS I ponder'd in silence, Returning upon my poems, considering, lingering long, A Phantom arose before

Bear forth to them folded my love, (dear mariners, for you I fold it here in every leaf;) Speed on my

And so will some one when I am dead and gone write my life?

my real life, Only a few hints, a few diffused faint clews and indirections I seek for my own use to

BEGINNING MY STUDIES.

W. not home the moment of my call, so I sat down in the parlor, reading and waiting.

buildings which he could descry from his position on the wharf—"the big buildings—all gone up since my

My description appeared greatly to interest him, and he questioned me keenly in detail, as is his wont

Dave will leave it absolutely in my hands to arrange.

"You'll find it easily," he said, "say I sat in my usual place up there—my chair turned this way"—wheeling

Called my attention to an old letter in the Philadelphia Press describing a visit to Emerson with Louisa

You will see by it how that point staggers my friends as well as my enemies.

Dear Walt Whitman:Pray forgive my long silence. I have been deep in troubles of my own.

I know the purity and righteousness of your meaning, but that does not alter my regret.I think your reputation

When I tried to take those pieces out of the scheme the whole scheme came down about my ears.

W. took it from my hands and held it off from himself, regarding it with immediate approval and fondness

Millet is my painter: he belongs to me: I have written Walt Whitman all over him. How about that?

My word was not law, of course: they could have done anything they chose about it: but they asked my

Take my own method—if you call it that.

This does not mean that I am not careful: it only means that I try not to overdo my cake."

Whether because he saw my protest—inarticulate—whether I looked objection (which I hardly intended to

I have met him several times, and that was my impression.

And that reminds me to say, Horace, that there's one break in my piece—at least, one mistake—or not even

One place there you remember I spoke of my return to Washington and reception by O'Connor and his noble

I should not have permitted it—should have put my foot down on that.

said as I greeted him at the door, "Your hand is most frozen," and I remarked it to W., "Take care—my

The book to include my preface." I had offered to Mrs. O'Connor to read proofs.

"I was on my last man," he remarked, "and would have sent Warrie out to skirmish for them tomorrow.

I shall put them in my own drawer—keep them for mine own humor—and think of you as my messenger."

Would I stop to see him: "Drop a little reminder that I have not my copy of Reisser talk."

May 14. 1874 My dearest Friend Two papers have come to hand since I last wrote; one containing the memoranda

A great deal of needlework to be done at this time of year; for my girls have not time for any at present

May is in a sense (& a very real one) my birth month too, for in it were your Poems first put into my

My children are all well and hearty I am thankful to say, & working industriously.

Good bye my dearest Friend. Anne Gilchrist. Anne Gilchrist to Walt Whitman, 14 May 1874

July 14/72 The 3d July was my rejoicing day, dearest Friend,—the day the packet from America reached

I speak out of my own experience when I say that no Myth, no "miracle" embodying the notion of a direct

of the heart suddenly grow adequate to such new work—O the passionate tender gratitude that flooded my

breast, the yearning that seemed to strain the heart beyond endurance that I might repay with all my

to be so, now: that for me too love & death are folded inseparably together: Death that will renew my

"Democratic Souvenirs" (later "My Legacy") was included in Whitman's "Songs of Parting," which contained

That he obtained your goods & service under false pretenses is perfectly certain to my mind .

would let me have some property which he had no earthly use for viz some books which had once been in my

private library a $150 bookcase which had been in my library 5 or 6 years before I thought of going

pay you $200.00 (just what was due Dec 1st '74) In another place he binds himself to carry out all my

I have done for 3 or 4 years, day & night & sunday, to get justice out of this fellow for myself & my

Camden April 14 '89 Fine sunny weather—nothing special in my health—(if any difference am suffering less

My dear friend, I was glad to hear by your postal that you are getting along without an increase of suffering

My old enemy "melancholia" spreads its vampire wings still over my life and will I presume go with me

Gardner of Paisley, accepting my MS. "Walt Whitman the Poet of Humanity."

suppose his idea is that people will buy L. of G. more if they are not given the passages in question in my

refreshing night the walks of Paradise, I scent the grass, the moist air and the roses; Thy song expands my

and for my sensuous eyes, Bring the old pageants, show the feudal world.

the terrible tableaus. 7 O trumpeter, methinks I am myself the instrument thou playest, Thou melt'st my

heart, my brain—thou movest, drawest, chan- gest changest them at will; And now thy sullen notes send

soul, renew its languishing faith and hope, Rouse up my slow belief, give me some vision of the future

refreshing night the walks of Paradise, I scent the grass, the moist air and the roses; Thy song expands my

and for my sensuous eyes, Bring the old pageants, show the feudal world.

the terrible tableaus. 7 O trumpeter, methinks I am myself the instrument thou playest, Thou melt'st my

heart, my brain—thou movest, drawest, chan- gest changest them at will; And now thy sullen notes send

soul, renew its languishing faith and hope, Rouse up my slow belief, give me some vision of the future

"I can't get adjusted to it: the thought of our separation—of my personal helplessness: then my memory

I struggle against my own inner convictions."

My dear Walt,This morning I had occasion to call at the house of a Mr.

But I worked my way through it. He'd say: "Don't give up," laughing.

own personality (things seen through my eyes and what my vision brings)—a book full enough of mosaic

W. said: "The reference to Hawthorne brings back to my mind a story once told me by a friend in Brooklyn

W. said again: "For myself I consider A Backward Glance my right bower."

alone: this will be my book."

would thoroughly express my idea."

My previous notes show his earlier experiments.

My letter to Hay comes back from someone in Cleveland with his London address added; too late to reach

my big tree.

I am sure I shall want to do if I ever reach my 72d.

Give him my love.

As to his health, "I am by no means gaining—I seem to stick in my low estate—no lift any way."

"What's all this about, my boy?"

"Is it a patent of nobility, or is it an address from a lot of my young friends?"

My paralysis has made me so lame lately that I had to give up even my walks for health, let alone my

rambles in the country, and my constitution has suffered for exercise.

TO EASE MY DECLINING YEARS.

my special word to thee. Hear me illustrious!

lengthen- ing lengthening shadows, Prepare my starry nights.

my city! ALL IS TRUTH.

WEAVE IN, MY HARDY LIFE.

Then my realities; What else is so real as mine?

my special word to thee. Hear me illustrious!

lengthen- ing lengthening shadows, Prepare my starry nights.

my city! ALL IS TRUTH.

WEAVE IN, MY HARDY LIFE.

Then my realities; What else is so real as mine?

I loafe and invite my Soul, I lean and loafe at my ease, observing a spear of summer grass.

The smoke of my own breath, Echoes, ripples, buzzed whispers, love-root, silk-thread, crotch and vine

, My respiration and inspiration, the beating of my heart, the passing of blood and air through my lungs

The sound of the belched words of my voice, words loosed to the eddies of the wind, A few light kisses

Our poet goes on to say (105): I know I am august, I do not trouble my spirit to vindicate itself or

"My—your sleep must have been a soothing one!" He laughed with me.

I said: "I have often explained my adhesion to you in almost the same words." "Is it so?

off for my own use.

my notion in its favor."

What was my impression of it? "You like to see all that's going on?

My impression of W's appearance at this date is a favorable one: though it is clear enough that his recent

Often he points me about the rooms: "Poor as these are, they are a comfort to me—my own—giving me freedom

My only uncompromising friend in the family is probably Watson—he swears to me—not everything in me,

When I was in Denver I spent my longest hours in contemplation of the mountain ranges."

I took off my hat to the compliment.

"I am getting more and more satisfied with my bed and chair, which is suspicious."

Explains: "The fall in my pulse is getting more and more evident: I've got no time to lose."

In talking about signatures W. said: "O'Connor once took one of my signatures to a clerk in the Treasury

I have about made up my mind to live another year: why not?

You will see that he harps on the Calamus poems again—always harping on 'my daughter.'

W. said: "My brother Jeff, from St.

My dear mother had every general faith in me; that is where she stopped.

Expect to stay in the neighborhood another week, when I shall shift my diggings as my bedroom window

My feeling about him is not condemnatory—only indifferent." I told W.

This is not the general view: it is my view.

Friday, March 4, 1892W. slept easily on my morning round (8:20 A.M.). Looked a trifle flushed.

I recovered my footing, and Mr.

My love to him—it's all I have of use.Mrs. B. & I talk of you & Mrs.

"Yes, to my sister" (and had enclosed money).

And to my negative he answered, "It is odd—you have heard from about everybody else."

demonstrative of his cordiality.I gave W. the following extract from letter from Stedman to Morris: "Do give my

Think of it: think of that as a reflection of my work, of my life, of my own dear, dear mother!

And still in the same line: "There are liars by inclination—born liars—and I seem to have had my share

I put in, "Yes, to say: I am in the hands of my friends."

In the points wherein we differ I think my work makes our difference plain and sets me up in my own individuality

I threw my valise upon a bench, and my over-coat upon it.

The good landlady's further inquisitiveness was cut short, by my taking the driver out to his wagon,

for the purpose of making arrangements and settling the price of my passage.

My neighbor by the side of the country woman, was the only exception to this.

Turning around a moment to look at Colby, who called my attention in the room, the next minute my hearing

"It states my position—lets me state it in my own words: then lets the reader answer for the rest."

C.December, 16, 1888.My dear Sir:I should like, if I can do so without impertinence, to send you my grateful

Of the portrait sent by Smith: "That was my prime—that was the period of my power—of endurance: the period

"I always expect you to know a lot about me without my having to say it to you—about my feelings: especially

my feelings towards you."

He picked up my hand and pressed it.

"You are my one vital means of connection with the world—the one live wire left.

I shook my head. "No?" "No.

I said: "Perhaps my father can do it: I'll ask him."

I want to be generous: I'll share my possessions with you."

Sir: Your reply of the 6th to my letter of the 4th inst. in regard to the employment of counsel for the

As I have already stated, my inquiries addressed to you were made at the request of the Secretary of

Esq.,—undertake the management of this defence, a reasonable compensation, founded on the basis of my

Novr. 12, 1872 My dearest Friend, I must write not because I have anything to tell you—but because I

impulses of thought & emotion that would shape themselves melodiously out of that for the new volume— My

Percy my eldest, whom I have not seen for a year is coming to spend Xmas with us— Good bye dearest Friend

My mind is fallow now, but I suppose it is for the best.

I hardly know my old self as seen in my old Index articles. However, Sursum! Resurgam! Forward!

I have thought of it and cannot get it off my mind, so I have come up to ask your forgiveness.

I know that it is my falt fault and not yours.

give you up, and it makes me feel so bad to think how we have spent the last day or two; and all for my

I write to inform you that I have expunged from the forthcoming Edition of my "Talks with Emerson" a

Such was my feeling I remember in regard to the effect of the incident when I mentioned it.

Yours with high respect, Charles J Woodbury I am only here temporarily; my permanent address is,— #123

Dear Sir— I have tried in vain to obtain a good portrait of my father for you and am reduced to this

not read) containing poor copies of the good portraits that are in some secure, forgotten place among my

traps—stored in garret or cellar of my new house where all things are at sixes and sevens.

But I take back my promise. For if you are not sane what will writing avail?

It is a waste of breath for my friend to tell me I am healthy when my pulse records the circumstance

My dear Walt: I received yr your post-card this week, and frwrd forwarded it to Leonard M.

You make no allusion to my Book or my little confidences thereon: do you care for a copy?

My Dear Walt: You have, I believe, in your hands certain charges against Judge Kelly of Idaho.

His friends are my friends, and while I do not know much of him personally, I nevertheless know his accuser

I congratulate you, my dear fellow, on the great appreciation which reaches across the greatwater to

Yesterday & to-day I am perceptibly better—Cooler & signs of September—Still adhere to my 2d story room

moment—I have somewhere a printed slip of "Old Age's Lambent Peaks" & will yet send it—but I cannot lay my

hand on it this moment—a cloudy rather pleasant day, almost cool—quiet—I reiterate the offer of my mare

the opposition & resentment at L of G. is probably as concentrated & vital & determined in New York (my

known— —I am sitting here all alone to-day—I do not eat dinner these short days—only breakfast & supper—my

appetite fair—had some buckwheat cakes & raw oysters for my breakfast.

All my Herald bits will be included in November Boughs & I will send an early proof of all to you—As

I write I am sitting here in my big chair by the window (I have open'd it a few moments—it is near sunset—air

am quite immobile & don't get out except by being toted —a bunch of white lilies is in the window & my

trod, calling, I sing, for the last; (Not cities, nor man alone, nor war, nor the dead, But forth from my

vistas beyond—to the south and the north; To the leaven'd soil of the general western world, to attest my

Northern ice and rain, that began me, nourish me to the end; But the hot sun of the South is to ripen my

might afterward lose you. 2 (Now we have met, we have look'd, we are safe; Return in peace to the ocean my

love; I too am part of that ocean, my love—we are not so much separated; Behold the great rondure—the

space—know you, I salute the air, the ocean and the land, Every day, at sundown, for your dear sake, my

YET, yet, ye downcast hours, I know ye also, Weights of lead, how ye clog and cling at my ankles, Earth

Despairing cries float ceaselessly toward me, The call of my nearest lover, putting forth, alarm'd, uncertain

, The sea I am quickly to sail, come tell me, Come tell me where I am speeding, tell me my destination

YET, yet, ye downcast hours, I know ye also, Weights of lead, how ye clog and cling at my ankles, Earth

Despairing cries float ceaselessly toward me, The call of my nearest lover, putting forth, alarm'd, uncertain

, The sea I am quickly to sail, come tell me, Come tell me where I am speeding, tell me my destination

W. wore his bright blue gown, and said: "I have just been out to my favorite companion—the river!

My mail today had also brought me letters from Rhys, Rolleston, Rossetti and William Morris.

89If convenient please give the bearer, for the Photo: Process Co: for me, the negative of the photo: my

But it was my fault you did not find 'em. I failed to tell Ed why I had placed them there."

I had a letter from Kerr, of Unity, saying he would publish my O'Connor article, which I had sent him

samples, and he was very happy in them, saying at once on handling them: "Yes, they will do—he caught my

Adding—"I shall look at them at my leisure. And what about the cost?"

Called my attention to it. Asked me: "Is Morris unusually gay and happy?

That was a great Long Island phrase in my early days.

There was one of my English critics who dwelt upon the prominence I give to the sense of smell—gave it

Reached Camden 8:15, and after breakfast and a bath, and examining my mail, down to W.'s.

Among various letters come since my going away was this: Elmwood, Cambridge1st June, 1891Dear Sir,I very

greatly regret that, owing to an accident, your letter, though it reached my house, did not reach me

I should have been glad to add my felicitations & good wishes to yours had it been possible.Faithfully

I shall put it in my report as a footnote. W. advised simply, "Do as you will."

Dear friend, I am going to write you to ask any friends you may be in communication with for aid for my

Then I select the most needy cases & devote my time & services much to them.

hospitals, nothing but the mere hard routine, no time for tenderness or extras)—So I go round—Some of my

My brave young American soldiers—now for so many months I have gone around among them, where they lie

too near to each other, there is no time to lose, & death & anguish dissipate ceremony here between my

O'Grady | sent photos to him Dec 24 '81 11 Lr Lower Fitzwilliam St Dublin October 5, 1881 Dear Sir, My

My impressions regarding this literature I have published in various works.

poems & tales into a complete whole & so the student can never be exactly certain what is & what is not my

In the revolt of Islam he has a fine Panegyric on the future of America Fr For my own part I put him

I do not meet in you the expression of every changing ideal punctuating even the remotest parts of my