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stirs my curiosity—makes me wonder how far I survived in his good graces.

I reminded W. of Captain Lindell's wife, who suffered similarly. W.

oh my yes!" "I wondered: I wondered."

all the people who really know me, my work, consider, include, love, admire, William.

"Good: that's it: my soul won't let me. That's the way we have to keep up the balance."

Will write to Staffords myself & enclose facsimiles.I cannot write much tonight, though it is my last

think of Walt & to realize his condition all the time.It is a long, heavy, terrible strain for you, my

But I cannot overstep my limitations & circumstances. It is as foolish as vain to seek to do so.

I trust that you both realize that I give you from my heart what you have so nobly won, & steadfastly

My eyes filled with tears. I kissed his hands—his eyes opened an instant—looked me ineffable love.

Her mother was my mother's cousin. Never met her before."

I have never forsworn my allegiance to the printers—never.

At any rate," looking directly at me, "take my authorization with you: I authorize you to promise just

Called my attention to the fact that the Long Islander reprinted my Lippincott's piece in full, giving

before I get the piece in my book."

And to my negative, "He is a good fellow—very friendly to me—I have met him—talked, walked with him—an

know what is the signification of the legal term 'easement,' but it seems to me a very good word for my

bask in the sun—though Warren protests—I don't know but rightly: for these or things kin are cause of my

woe—at least according to my suspicions if not belief."

—that is one of my special points—to see them there.

But this catarrhal affection bothers me a good deal—troubles my head."

How Emerson could ever have got spliced to her beats my explanation.

John had not yet had my postal about O'Connor—but writes of him—had read of it in the paper.

I know how keenly you must feel it, and you have my deepest sympathy.

No words come to my pen adequate to express the sense of the loss we have all suffered in the death of

I have lived to regret my Rossetti yes—I have not lived to regret my Emerson no.

But how much does a man succeed in setting me right, in arriving at my purpose, in getting my measure

(yes, my motive) who wants to expurgate me?

Then he exclaimed: "Horace, take my advice: never take advice!"

Take my word for it—don't take advice!" Rabelais was somehow talked about.

Says, "I continue to read my own book with the greatest admiration"—the press-work and paper so good

Told W. of it now, W. saying, "He was one of my earliest friends—a true one, too—a sweet attractive fellow—gemmie—I

Admired its printing.I spoke of my interest in Thoreau.

As to the circular, he said in reply to my direct question: "Yes, I like it: It is in perfect good taste

It is a meaning I always invoke—a meaning, I hope palpably in all my work—to be drawn therefrom and acknowledged

entirely down in the mouth—I do not seem to have any scare in me—but I am wide awake to the fact of my

My little quarrel with Stedman is not about anything he does but because of something I think he could

I said: "That is my birthday."

My term's work is over and I am going away for a month, to Cambridge and Brighton.

I have to be true to my reputation."

But my confidence and laughter finally got him laughing too.

Which is what my dear parents used to say of our friends, to close criticism.

Perhaps the handle to my name has been against me in America!

It has always been my idea that my proper works are of three periods: 'Leaves of Grass' in one volume

He was struck with it, "I carry the notion favorably in my eye."

—"I had quite calculated on Alys, and her default—the default, anyhow, of most of the women—excites my

"Mount it on cardboard—get your father to—then bring it back to me and I'll put my name on it."

"No—none at all: my only trouble was, that I insisted on eating supper after I got home: this was superfluous

I should announce that all I have to say I have said in my books, which anybody may buy for himself;"

My sister Agnes had sent him down some roses, which we arranged in a glass on the table, where Mrs.

At my age and in my state of health I can only enclose a slight token of goodwill, with the wish that

family knows or cares anything about my literary work, fame—none of them: it might just as well not

Gave me My Book and I to take over in the morning—that "to be the opening piece."

That's because I don't always agree with my- self about Stedman.

W. jumped on me for my "radical violence."

"He has not sent the poem back—has not answered my note in any way. I do not understand it."

That may be true: I wouldn't go to the stake for my opinion on this subject."

us—he has a couple of black colts, the finest, and harness to match—and I am ashamed of myself for my

Monday, May 5, 1890I at 5.40 on my way home.

W. saw a copy of Unity in my hand. "What have you got there?"

I spoke of the absence of sun from this room—my regret that it was so.

He feels so well just now, he accepts my confidence.

And he added, "my sister-in-law was here today.

W. then: "Well—Baptist: it is the same thing for my purposes.

I would come in he woke up, and I would lean down and kiss him, he would reach out his hand and pat my

he wandered a good deal of the time—I would say "Erastus, don't you remember me—don't you remember my

In my limited talks with him he told me about his brothers and sisters, and his parents, wished me to

Farewell, dear boy,—it was my opportunity to be with you in your last days,—I had no chance to do much

I send you and all Erastus' brothers and sisters my love.I live when at home in Brooklyn, New York, in

At my advice W. will probably pile the folded sheets up in his own room.

Why, I could have lifted my hand and flung him over his bed"—motioning with great energy—"and yet he

I was out in my chair yesterday—Warrie took me and we went up towards the city hall.

W. said: "It is so, too: the real doctor, the genuine scientist—he is my man—he every time.

"Still I am not mad at him only, but fond of him too—and my sneaking notion is, to go there again."

As to the pocket edition: "I stick to my liking.

sent up to Tom some scraps, debris, quite a bundle for his Philadelphia lawyer-friend"—and noticing my

Was aroused at my entrance. "Oh! it 'sit's Horace!" How had he been to-daytoday?

is my audience literary, artistic, scientific—to be pleased as such?

I pointed my finger that way. He looked around.

Karl Knortz and his judgment on my translation, which letter I asked him to forward to you.

Take my love to all the boys: the typos: tell them Walt Whitman not only was but is one of them.

"Up to my usual standard, which isn't high at all."

"My impression is, yes, but I don't really —.

"They are my angels, to deliver me out of these walls!"

It always excites my respect—always stirs me!"

In my father's case I'm afraid they'll find a little difficulty in identifying the body."

You would want bits here and there in outline of my aims, purposes, whatever?"

the plan he has outlined is a good one, though what you tell me of the picture he will use excites my

It was one of my peculiar experiences." Had been working on some poems today.

Bucke strengthen my faith in immortality."

"It is indeed," he said, "I know nothing that better satisfies my own feeling, conviction."

He seemed to like my opinions, judgment.

So a good part of my work was to spare him work—to go over the correspondence,—give him the juice, substance

He motioned me to a seat—questioned me about my day's work, etc.

W. said: "I am confident of it: but I always plant myself on my own plans in the end."

But my book has aroused his suspicions.

I said something in my note to Bucke to-daytoday about the possibility of W.'

Lanier was once my friend—once thought himself on my side: he shied off later—could n'tcouldn't stand

And emotionally, at least, he accepts me—accepts my book."

commenced to write a postal, asking who was responsible for it—for somehow I felt as if I owed him my

He will take my O'Connor picture, reproduce it there.

And, Horace, you must be my tale-bearer, to bring me an account of it all tomorrow.

My love to Brinton—give him my love—and tell him to come over."

He took my hand and went across the room toilsomely.

Which is good, after my trouble." "Time for what? Have you suggestions to make? I hope so."

Then he leaned forward to the bed, handing me from it a copy of my August Lippincott's and Bucke's "Whitman

"I am quite ready in my own work when I find a good thing I want to say said by another, to use him—quote

Other poets have written and written with unmistakable power, grandeur, but my mark has been a distinct

I entered the room with the big envelopes under my arm.

And with my big envelopes along, too!"

I swung my hand across the big face of the envelope, "There is a chance for you to spread out a big Walt

And he questioned me frankly for the bases of my high estimate.

thinks of W.I like Stoddart's idea of a Whitman no. and hope he will carry it out—Would he care for my

Called my attention to a passage within—this: "The article in 'American' by H.S.

Non-committal as to W., who remarked: "I consider Thomas McKean, who has charge of the Ledger—as not only not my

Asked about the weather: urged me to throw my coat off: altogether most cordial.

He added: "My first doubts are my last. I think the little woman (was it Lucy Larcom?)

Then I would re-examine my premises. Yet each attempt was fruitless."

Changed his cover design at McKay's and my suggestion.

I keep it among my records. Monday, November 26, 1888

Also a letter from Mead, saying he will be glad to have my article and illustrations.

But for my own part I would put it in quite another way.

s demonstration of democratic art.Had forgotten about my Burroughs book today.

They even proposed a privilege from me that Moore should go among my friends and collect the money!

But I would get my copy.

And would get up, despite my protests, and go to the table. "It will do me good.

placed on the middle table, then opening his note-book, hunting up T.Tennyson's address—which he put on my

"That is wholly true: you give me my resolution back: I have something I want to say: I still expect

he is eminently present to me always here: no matter what happens, remains vitally with me, sharing my

"Ed, this is one of my friends—this is Horace Traubel." Ed scanned me.

I await it with interest.Please give my best regard to Mr.

W. said: "Tom—here is Ed Wilkins: Ed, this is my friend Tom Harned."

Whether because he saw my protest—inarticulate—whether I looked objection (which I hardly intended to

I have met him several times, and that was my impression.

And that reminds me to say, Horace, that there's one break in my piece—at least, one mistake—or not even

One place there you remember I spoke of my return to Washington and reception by O'Connor and his noble

I should not have permitted it—should have put my foot down on that.

But had received slips, reprint of my third Post piece, from Johnston.

It was a holy peace—a quiet passing understanding—my memory meanwhile drowsily playing with all the events

Probably saying this last from something he saw in my face.

You know, Horace, at times my brain simply will not stand that.

Law, Esq.,2020 Broadway, Camden, N.J.,My dear friend:Much obliged to you for the copy of your excellent

My Whitman epistle is really about the best I ever did, and I am only sorry it is written in a language

I feel however that if I cannot go to Phila. it will be one of the great calamities of my life and I

Evidently recognized my step, for no sooner than had I opened the door but he exclaimed—"Ah!

Mead was satisfied wih my suggestion of the Gutekunst portrait. Wished also a picture of the house.

I do not mean by that that The Century is my ideal of a magazine: it is ideal of a kind: that's what

I had my own way of looking upon the transactions of that exciting period: I did not want to see them

appetite—to spoil my supper."

My brother George was much more excited at that time than I was: George, now up there at Burlington:

I was afraid of Ripley but Reid confirmed my impression that Greeley is or has been favorable, and he

I have friends, enough money, comfort—as good things as my age, my condition, will permit.

guard, my promise, yet past all possibility of demand.

I almost think if I had to ask fulfillment, the rock, now my saviour, my peace, would be my wreck, my

ruin, my night!

But you cannot know how these days of my waiting, this night-coming time of my life, are confident, happy

It is one of the strongest of my good-humored pictures.

Some of my pictures are strong but too severe—don't you think so?

I was looking fixedly at the portrait in my hand. He noticed it. "What's the matter?"

"On the whole, I'd rather not: if I do I won't have enough for my own purpose."

So I put my stuff together and came to Camden. That was in the first period of my paralysis.

No one else from my family but wife and Mrs.

He, too, is heard from definitely.After my first mail I received postal from Johnston dated yesterday

My dear Traubel:I expect to be over tomorrow, and to be at Green's by 4:30 P.M.

My own say will be a short one." Would he speak first?

He had said on my morning call: "I feel bad—had a bad night—did not sleep at all."

That is my arcanum!

I spoke in my usual strain of Salvini, and W. listened and questioned as if it were all new to him, evidently

I showed him a crayon of Morse my father had made for me.

He replied: "No—I don't need to: I have been worried for several days: one of my near relations is in

Called my attention to four memorandums he had made up for McKay.

After this he broke through his mock reserve: "I answered them—I kept no copy of my answer.

mean—as Stedman did occupy: for Stedman is showing more and more consideration—has shifted his affection my

W. responding, "Never mind, Frank—that's but a part of the evidence of my good will.

I got my ticket for Philadelphia. Back to tea and to the dance.

I was on my way to the opening meeting of the Unitarian Conference in Philadelphia.

It taught me my own definiteness of address—what my friends call my superfluity.

If my memory serves me, I went that day.

Harper's Bazaar, and W., at the name Harper's exclaimed—"That reminds me—did I tell you that I got my

so long acknowledged his extraordinary genius it's not likely I'd take a turnabout at this late day: my

It is illustrated in my friend Mr.

made some personal reference to Smith as "a good fellow: hospitable, kind: level-headed, too—truly my

He said: "Whittier cannot be considered my enemy: he is friendly: not an early comer—among those who

Cartloads of 'em—cartloads—when I was younger: indeed, that was a most important formative element in my

s addresses, he remarking, "My friends always used to do that—do it still.

You remember my friend in Washington with his stacks of trunks—the Adam Express man?

McKay had called my attention to what was a defect in copyright page—W.'