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My dear Mr.

John's Wood, London NW1 March 1891Dear Traubel,You were very prompt in getting my small unreasonableness

The Foreign & Colonial business of the Post Office is my "bread & butter" life as you call it; & this

Give him my love, and believe me to beVery sincerely yoursH.

My dear Traubel,Hearty thanks for your letters to myself.Johnston, Wallace & Carpenter have sent on to

correspondence, & to sympathise most deeply in all your hours.And there I have your photograph upon my

It revolutionized my previous conceptions, & made me another man. Revolution is always a bad thing.

previous environment and my own feeble self.I pour all this out upon you now, because, while Whitman

Glad you have my book. Have you two nurses now?

I don't remember whether I said so to Chubb when he was here, but I know it was my feeling to say of

—seeing the rolls in my hand.

On my return I took the chair at the foot of the sofa. There was no light in the room.

"She calls attention to the money I am making on my poems—says it is rare.

Tom, do you want to borrow some of my poetry money?

I had twelve hundred and fifty of my own—George W.

He appeared in quite a lively humor, though saying: "This has been one of my bad days and I have done

"But I was out—got my trip with Ed—just came back a little while ago."

"But my contention is for the whole man—the whole corpus—not one member—not a leg, an arm, a belly alone

and have been condemned by your own argument," he laughed heartily and said: "That is so, too: all my

This throws my work over far into next week. Not a word from W.—can there be a turn for the bad?

From the medical point of view they tell me I'm getting on all right, but from the point of view of my

"My head is no good tonight. Last night I felt extra strong." Had not read much proof today.

You'll find in one of John's letters that he talks to me like a Dutch uncle about my health.

Tell them I cannot write myself—describe my situation: tell them how helpless I am.

I think it would lengthen my days to see you once more.With loveJohn Burroughs.

He called my attention to a bunch of wheat-stalks on the table. "A lady brought them in.

It raises my solicitude. As we left he took up a local paper—said he would try to read.

"This modern printing excites my unceasing admiration," he said.

I would not swear I had not acknowledged, for sometimes my poor memory plays me tricks in self-condemnation

Also, at my reminder, gave me a copy of the Gutekunst photograph for Hicks, autographing it also.

Saturday, June 27, 1891A couple of postals from Reeder acquiescing in my plan.

That would be my plan. I have been talking with Horace about it."

Had I my legs as once, it wouldn't be but a little skip for me.

piece off, "I want you to take it—I think Mary Davis makes the best bread ever was—the best: it is my

chief dependence, pride, nowadays, when I have to be so careful what I do with my belly!"

I have eaten freely and seem to digest my food: have felt altogether better, except, perhaps, at the

top, which will finally feel the effects of my bodily rehabilitation I am sure.

So you see, my flag is no more at half mast: I feel the touch of life again!"

I do not make light of such messages—indeed, they have a profound place in my consideration.

"My Herald is stopped and I do not regret it: my subscription is run out.

He had a strikingly positive blue gown on which at once attracted my eye and occasioned remark.

It is a present from my sister, George's wife."

my dear! You've come again!"

Jenkins, of the American, returned my article on O'Connor as "too eulogistic."

It's as bad as it used to be when I sent Mary out a-searching for my socks.

I have often felt that I would give my body, my corpus, for dissection after death—would decidedly do

I can describe it no better than by my old figure—that it seemed as if all the vital insides had fallen

A preliminary cable but does not know when he must sail.W. gives me [notes] for my "memoranda," to be

W. asked, "Did you notice this letter—that it was from my sister's husband at Burlington?"

I ignore him, never recognize him in any way—pity my poor sister—old, sick.

weakness—knowing the spot where I am sore—my love for my sister—ramming his knife in there!

"So they wonder about my use of the apostrophe, do they?

I have so accustomed myself to it in my verse that I extend it to my prose for uniformity's sake.

My 'peculiarities,' as your printers call them, hardly go further than this.

My opinions are all, always, so hazy—so slow to come.

I have been treated fully up to my deserts and over."

"I go from my bed to the chair—from my chair to the bed—again and again—never staying long in either

place, never losing altogether the sense of lethargy which characterizes my present condition.

"I feel keenly my mental shakeup—my loss of continuity: my overwhelming weariness.

He knew of my special interest in his hospital records. "Yes—read it—keep it, if you like.

I send my thanks and love to yourself, your sister, husband, and the sisters Wigglesworth.

"I am more and more confirmed in my dislike of it.

Tennyson is old, sensitive, my friend,—many reasons why this should not appear in such connection.

Some fellow—I think in the New York office, too—seems to possess a persistent ignorance about me—sends my

In order finally to settle about Bonsall's speech, W. thought my idea "good" that he should hear the

"Not extra well," he replied to my query about his health, "only as well as the law allows."

In fact: "When I got into the hall—up the fine broad stairway—had my seat there at the table—a good bottle

So they set to and transported me without the least effort on my part—chair and all.

It is the usual fate of my things upstairs."

"I shall go for a few minutes into the parlor, then up to my den."

It was in such a way he retorted: and I adopt the story, as fitting my coat!"

Add- ing, after looking in my face: "Don't feel bad about it—I don't."

They may be wrong in what they say of my book but they are not wrong in their love: love is never wrong

So I wonder over Kennedy—do not quite get him adjusted in my perspective.

I get to look for Bucke as I look for my breakfast." While we were talking Harned came in.

As I left W. held my hand for a long time (his hand was very warm) and said: "What I say of my head does

Jennie Gilder was "more disposed our way, but she is making money—at least that is my supposition (there

no money in the Critic) and has more or less resigned her place on the Critic: that, at any rate, is my

And so would say at my mention of feudalism—'does it do feudalism any good to have it presented in such

"It is the same story with those fellows: pork and beans is my dish, therefore you must like it—but no

The way to do is, to put it all on my shoulders—that is the surest way out—I am the one who should have

My note about Trumbull, with a reply from Trumbull, in Open Court. I left paper with W.

He facsimile'ed it for the Review without my knowledge—not asking if I approved, though it was done out

my voice is all nature, pure, true—and whose teacher told her at the very start—do you know, my girl,

Armory Sq Hospital,Sunday Evening Oct 4Dear Madam,Your letter reached me this forenoon with the $30 for my

Who put you on to my secret?" "It's not even a secret—anybody might know it who looked."

My nature, my temperament, my blood, should take me close to the Teuton."

Here was my first tally of life—here were my first tries with the lute—in that book I am just like a

for two hours on my tin horn."

Much of my reason for going would be, the weather, my condition, the case of transportation—this probably

It is, in my eyes, a valuable volume—peculiarly valuable, unique,—I might almost call it sweet—for two

"I shall send it—or let you send it—just as comes up as most convenient and easy—fits in with my mood

speeches of Gilder, Hawthorne, Bonsall, Garland, Eyre, and he will examine, suggest, and return to my

Again, "This Dudley—all this settlement—is new since the days I came out in my own rig."

"glad" for my suggestion that the head seemed hunched on the shoulders.

I started something with that end in view, but my condition at the time was rather dubious, so that I

"My writing has been clear from the start—almost from boyhood: not beautiful, but legible."

He called my attention to a letter from the West and called it "empty".

I can never know when the door will be banged shut in my face."

They are not my ideals but they are ideals—very lofty ideals." Saturday, July 21, 1888.

W. said, "It is a good book—it has my cordial regard right through.

Asked me again of "my Jew constituency"—the young fellows, etc.

Who knows but after all the youth are my natural friends?"

And after my reply: "Oh! that they may know about it 60 years hence."

—where we had tea—my brother Lothario (in Government printing office) stopping in while we sat eating

(I engaged with my brother to meet me early tomorrow: we would walk together.)Mrs.

"I am almost strong tonight—this has been my best day in five weeks." Mitchell over today.

to be the habit of some of the papers—some do it still when they want to fling themselves—to refer my

illness back to my dissipations.

in its literature, stands by the French—insists upon French supremacy: and William, you know, of all my

It took me some time to get down, or up, to my proper measure—to take my own measure—that is, a long

As for the litter—that is of my own choosing: I need not have that except as I elect to have it—I could

And I am sure—notwishstanding Hamlin Garland's fear, I am most blessed in my Camden friends: who more

very free, yet making no emphatic statements either way, except now and then to express some assent to my

I made up my mind from the first that at a time when all literature was sickly with plaints, moan, sillinesses

"Here are my lots—I like these—I'll come out some day and buy half a dozen."

following letter: Your letter to Walt Whitman, which he has shown to me, has raised this question in my

mind, whether my inference be true, that you will expunge the paragraph or paragraphs referred to rather

evening—from Baltimore sooner than expected.W. still reading the Lincoln matter, saying, "I adhere to my

"It is very good of them: say, I respond to it—give them my love."

And to my "yes" he inquired, "What line does he write on?"

And after my reply and my saying that "they all seem to be coming round," he faintly laughed (and choked

My love goes out to him!"

"That is right: that is my habit."

I took my seat again (had been around looking over his shoulder) when he started again.

My personal meetings with Kennedy were mostly here: he came over often to see me: little trips, talks

"I shall write out my ideas: make a memorandum of them: but say at the same time, throw these overboard

I repeated my idea of a cover.

W. said: "Yes, I am in favor of calf: anything rather than vellum: the order of my instructions would

Called my attention to the book in his hand.

"This is one of my countless memorandum books—I have had hundreds of them—this is a Washington one—now

Bucke made some suggestions as to head-line for my Whitman essay thus: I hope great things from your

I explained that they would not fall in line with the personal flavor of my paper.

But I ought to add of this, as I would of my own writing—you are the man who is writing it, or I am,

Paine is within my particular domain—I am after all anybody has to say about him."

Saturday, January 30, 1892In my forenoon visit to W.

Had just got a letter from Ingersoll at the Post Office on way down, but I did not leave it, as was my

(My telegram was: "Whitman see you briefly at 12 o'clock tomorrow morning.")At first W. said he would

"In spite of my request for an antique or black letter, Dave has carefully avoided them.

Traubel.Daniel Longaker Was over yesterday specifically at my request. Saturday, January 30, 1892

It was a portrait supplement—years ago—and what you see below there—reproduced from my own hand—out of

December 3, 1867.My dear Mr.

I cannot and will not consent of my own volition to countenance an expurgated edition of my pieces.

I boil: burn up: but often I keep my mouth shut: I am a slow mover: I don't hurry even in my tantrums

That infernal damned meter's getting on my nerves.

"My head and my heels tell me so."

about "Demeter," and he answered: "It is gone already—Tom was in today and took it along—took it at my

"But the points that took my time, mainly, were in debates on infant damnation, heathen damnation: it

to send you two prose books of Carpenter's which I have lately read & like immensely.Please to give my

If Walt is well enough to heed, give him my dearest & tenderest love—always the same.

Give him my warmest love & tell him I am again in my little skiff coasting up & down his shores.

"Yes, my best respects!

Held my hand warmly on departure. "Bless you, boy! This is a hard monotony to bear!"

On my return from Philadelphia in evening—6:30—I stopped in for a few minutes. The day uneventful.

Somehow, something in my throat—some obstreperation—it brings back that cork: a dozen times a day it

He held my hand all this time and pressed it again and again.

"If you write to Doctor, give him my love: and to Ingersoll, too—yes, and to Ned Stedman."

"Throw a cloth or quilt over my whole bed. It is getting chilly here." Mrs.

me about the fire last night: it was a lumber yard along the wharves; he was very much interested in my

But then," he said doubtingly, after a slight pause: "since that draft business I don't trust my memory

I blurted out at once so he should remain in no uncertainty: 'I 'mI'm afraid my friend that I hope it

, but when a sample like this comes along with his numerous arogances I am up in arms again full of my

I read it to him.>333 Liverpool Road, Apr. 11, '76 Dear Dixon: I forgot to acknowledge in my last the

Thought he would have to come up and see my father's picture. Left with him Harper's Weekly.

But in the end still insisted, "My view is, that the Doctor will dismiss it—at least, not like it."

No word of my proof from Stoddart yet. W. getting impatient.

s—and when into his room, found him, eyes open, alive to my presence.

Fairchild's letter, received last night: Boston, Jan. 12.My dear Mr.

and my trumpet-call to the end of my life.Will you tell him this?

—and that my thoughts are often with him in love and veneration.

And again, "Bless her and give her my love!"

When I came in I stood a moment—he did not see me: then seemed to wake to my presence with a start, shook

At my assent, writing therein.

I knew it as well as I do my own.

Now, I can do my business either in the morning or the afternoon, and if you could be at the house with

My call is merely social but as I might never see him again, I count on it greatly.

If not, I shall go straight to Camden.I shall carry an alligator-skin satchel, with my initials in silver

W. said: "Maurice says the new leaves and flowers will be my best medicine when spring comes.

It aroused my ire: has a scurrilous little paragraph on the Colonel: a mean, dirty little paragraph:

: "It is very companionlike of her to say that: I thank her deeply: such goodwill serves to appease my

I folded it and put it away in my pocket. W. asked: "Well: have you any thoughts about it?"