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My dear Traubel:I regret to say that it is impossible for me to be with you on the 31st of May, as I

streak of luck I come back in time, I shall certainly be with you on the occasion you speak of.Give my

Told him result of my quest of McKay, who is of course willing to take the book, will arrange imprint

My God!

I first met him after my sickness, on coming north.

He was full-blooded, large, splendid—a real human being—full of unction—a man after my own heart: much

He called my attention to a remark of a Methodist minister at a recent conference: "I propose to discuss

He started it "My dear comrade," and signed himself as having "the ardor of a regular—or irregular—dyed-in-the

Several times my voice almost betrayed me, and W.'

How my heart leaped into every action of others that went to the finer significance of the occasion.

At another time in the midst of things W. himself motioned to me across the hall and put into my hands

Out of all this, how deliberate the process of my content!

You can ask—make inquiries in my name.

The old fellow is not Dutch but Italian—has been there from my boyhood.

Ask her in my name—though I don't know if she ever knew me by name.

Keeps well—sat much as I found him all the time of my stay.

I should without hesitation adopt those words as my own. 'A gassy fizzle!' Yes, surely!

He took my hand. "I feel somehow as if you had consecrated yourself to me.

That entails something on my part: I feel somehow as if I was consecrated to you.

He took my face between his hands and drew me to him and kissed me. Nothing more was then said.

I went back to my chair and we sat in silence for some time.

November Boughs will be my good bye." Friday, May 25, 1888.

Perhaps my objections are whimsical."

Harned had just been at my house, discussing affairs with me.I received today a note from Ingersoll,

always understood that I feel a never-ending gratefulness for those abroad who helped me, that time of my

Then they came forward, took my book, took me—and saved me.

Of course for me, from my person, the great moral, emotional, testimony the story bears is never to be

Though W. was on his bed, he was not asleep—got up instantly on my entrance, and after he had shaken

But I have not half examined it yet and must put off for another letter my dicta upon it.I am well but

Buxton Forman And W. volunteered his Forman note, which had to do with the dinner, and was in reply to my

"Just now it is my main labor simply to hold my head up. As for moving? No! No!"

Adding—"If that should go up, my world would go up with it." Aldrich had a poem in the Century.

my friends, the sky: thinking life away from, outside, all appetites."

W. said: "That all goes to corroborate my argument—it confirms my own experiences—my own excursions everywhere

That was exactly my case.

in my optimism, my democracy."

I am greedy—never satisfied: their house is an oasis in my domestic desert."

"I want to go next door," he explained, "take my arm, Horace"—then going toilsomely on, step by step.

"No, not at all, not stronger in the legs: my strength does not come back to me."

W. responded: "It is a great joy—a great joy simply to get out of my cell."

This morning we went out even before my breakfast—took a trip around the block."

This in my invariable feeling.

If I am mistaken in him—if my experience of human nature leads me astray now, in a case of which I am

All my inclinations are to trust him. You fellows can get a shy: see how he measures up to you."

mock-despair: "I have had unwanted news today—bad news—almost startling news: the Century has rejected my

—"It comes with this note, which you might as well read"—handing to us a page and a half note—"My dear

All my poems require to be read again and again—three, four, five, six times,—before they enter into

"I took nearly all that one bottle—it was good—yet it seemed to affect my bladder and I thought it best

"I noticed it as I sat here—the dust flew up in a perfect cloud—I got my mouth full of it.

thoughts but the very opposite of my thoughts.

This was about the time of the Walt Whitman Club business that I put my foot down on.

"If it was to tip over, it would knock my neck badly out of joint.

"Over there on the box," he said, "is my red handkerchief: will you hand it to me?"

I talked freely and calmly to him, then gave him Longaker's and my Philadelphia addresses—telling him

Now new samples of paper, out of which he readily settled upon the one I had told Ferguson was my own

two books bound together—mainly for my own use.

"Yes, I think I have—my name certainly gets about more—but what does it amount to?"

"No rally seems possible—it is my last run of fish." Had been down in the parlor today.

cold still persists: my head is still much choked by it."

work finally makes on me—the response it meets with, in my own consciousness."

Still at times my thoughts all go back ["God knows, John!

I can't get back my ruminating habit.

Then: "After my meal, my dinner, I put up the sash—so—on all these milder days: today is debatable ground

But he admitted: "I am more and more sensitive to the cold: my inanimate limbs."

W., after his laugh over my repetition of this, added: "I am not surprised: no doubt I should disfavor

If you can, go in to see him—give him my reiterated request for proofs—tell him I must on no account

No man has suffered worse than I have from editors who insist they can read my proofs better than I can

I should have done it long ago—I feel some embarrassment in my neglect—for it is a neglect."

On the bed were my proofs (Myrick had not given me any new ones today, but hopes to let me have all poems

W. then, "It is hardly to be dignified as 'work': it is simply a last drop, a leave-taking, my farewell—a

My custom was, in the old days, to listen sharply to the pronunciation, accent of the actors—then to

Friday, March 4, 1892W. slept easily on my morning round (8:20 A.M.). Looked a trifle flushed.

I recovered my footing, and Mr.

My love to him—it's all I have of use.Mrs. B. & I talk of you & Mrs.

"Yes, to my sister" (and had enclosed money).

And to my negative he answered, "It is odd—you have heard from about everybody else."

Honored Sir—and Dear Poet—I beg you to accept my appreciative thanks for your great kindness in sending

I put the letter in my pocket.

in the Brooklyn days—and even behind Brooklyn—I was to be an orator—to go about the country spouting my

pieces, proclaiming my faith.

.: "Nor have I: but the 'chaps,' as he calls them, often come and report me so—put words into my mouth

I said: "To my inquiry as to who wrote that fine piece there about you." W.: "Oh yes!

My address is the Daily News office.Truly yours,Francis M.

W. seemed to think my question amusing.

We are back home and I am busy about my farm work.

I like it much—it is to me, for my intentions, indispensibleindispensable—the sun revolves about it,

But for me it is my necessity—it is all music—the clef of things—to discriminate—not so much to produce

free and winged words—words that have thundered and ennobled the hearts and lives of millions—that my

As she fixed the bed, she mentioned my name, "Mr. Traubel is here."

Also Bucke—24th—calling my attention to "Death's Valley," not knowing I know too that it was not unchangedly

Called my attention at once to another postal from Washington.

"I can't be arrogant with myself—can't absolutely subdue myself: my fears will spring up—then my hopes

"I wrote my usual postal to William—also a postal to the Doctor."

He therefore said: "I am getting pretty near my financial edge—my limit.

He was a little twitted by my stubbornness. I saw it.

I am glad you were on hand last night to say your word of dissent, and my word in the bargain."

mast—roughing it in that line a life through—but he was a man, every inch of him—as I may say it again, using my

I should wish everywhere to bear my testimony to him.

s condition will improve—still, I must confess to you, Horace, my hopes are not any too strong—the physical

Give them my love—tell them all the good things you can of ways here—all that."

Friday, March 18, 1892W. not asleep on my round (8:15) but not in shape to say much.

During my visit was turned on right side but could not lie long; cough soon annoyed him.

He saw me and called my name.

Then I asked, "Did Webster send you a check for my fund?" "No, no check—it was only a letter."

I hurried in, the Bolton letter in my hand.

It was putting my own feeling into words. Seemed to sum him up!"

W. then: "Take my advice: shut up!"

I hope, therefore, my paragraphing may be permitted by the benignant printer.

I was horrified to learn that my footnote about Lowell was set as per copy.

I am rummaging my memory for an epigraph for the appendix, as you requested.

W. asked about it—then, to my remark that C.Carpenter had no striking literary gifts, was acquiescent—adding

The thought occurs to me that if you would all like it, I would come over that night and read my Lincoln

address—read on that 'My Captain.'

I have no question but if I could meet him I could wheedle him about my thumb, and you can do it as well

He then, "I am sure it will come about all right: I usually find that my good demon does not nap in an

Davis, and he instantly recognized me and called my name, "Horace? You here?" and we shook hands.

he asked, and to my "yes," he asked, "Is it very cold?"

"Always my love." I described the cold clear skies and the moon ascended north-east.

I kissed him good-bye and he pressed my hand, "Good night, Horace: bless you! Bless you!"

W. reading Century which he laid down on my entrance. Reported his health "rather on the improve."

book: I'm still uncertain where he is—whether he has yet got back to West Park or not: I addressed my

Didn't my lower stomach shout to my upper stomach with loud halloos!

My talk with him must have sunk in.

I remember what poor William says: he says I always like my idiot pictures best!"

Upon my protest he said: "No, it's all right: I was just thinking whether I should not go over to the

My own personal choice among books is for those you can put in your pocket."

My dear Mr. Whitman:Allow me to introduce to your acquaintance my young friend, Mr. E. H.

visit to you last March, when I was on my way home from Johns Hopkins University.

Pardon my delay in acknowledging, due to illness.

I expressed my high value put on the poem, and spoke of its "power." This appeared to strike him.

In the Herald days, though they presented on to fifty of my pieces, never but once or twice—probably

It is evidently drawn to my order—intended for me—I ought to have it."

I said, "In reading of the terrific loss there—ten millions or more—my first wonder was, that a town

I feel I must return to my first love. The summary is brief, yet always definite and satisfactory.

As to physicians spoken of yesterday, said: "I have often resolved I would some day record my testimony

warmth penetrates I penetrate those cities myself, All islands to which birds wing their way I wing my

Complains of the day, that "it has been a bad one—not one of my worst, but a bad one decidedly."

Except for the Whitman portions pretty dry—not well put and kept together—but enheightens my respect

"I seem to have improved this afternoon and evening: my mind is clearer than any day yet: less sore—with

If I keep on fooling with one will and another I won't know which is my last.

"In a general way Dana was favorable to my work—not in any thorough-going fashion.

I slipped out, avoided the beaten paths, tried a way of my own—that was my experiment.

My impressions regarding this literature I have published in various works.

However, those few lines will at least serve as an unambiguous testimony of my deep and true devotion

eyes.Ever yours sincerely and affectionatelyEdward Bertz W. remarked: "I am well aware of it, that my

I had with me, a rough manuscript of my book matter, and read to him from it, here and there.

British readers," and I replied that in making up the volume I was not seeking to please anybody—that my

plan was, the matter having been put in my charge, to give what I thought the most fitting record of

Told him of my message to Reeder. "I am glad. I want him to do it.

anticipate me—and so I feel a singular, long-prepared reliance upon you—as if in fact you had become my

—though these formal, conventional weapons, even an inkstand, do not lend themselves to my habits, taste

That was always my impression: buoyant, light, loving."

As to the farewell reception to Clifford at Germantown this evening: "Give him my love, respect, admiration

Rose on my entrance. Today I got from Ferguson revised proofs reaching to page fifty-six.

"I told Mary to tell him my head was too sore.

He took my hand.

I shall (as I see now) continue to be my own publisher and bookseller.

Each book has my autograph. The Two Volumes are my complete works, $10 the set."

Though away at the moment of my coming, W. was not long in making his appearance.

I have made up my mind that Harry and Buckwalter should have copies—so as Harry was here, I thought he

"It is not my funeral, you know!"

I have often taken to wondering lately, if my Quaker habit of waiting for the spirit or Socratic demon

I find anyhow that a great many of my readers credit my writings with things that do not attach to the

Found Longaker sitting there with W., Longaker immediately going on my entrance, having other patients

doubting laugh, "It is always funny—sometimes exhilarating—to me, to be sometimes told after one of my

I had the Lippincott's proof with me, would leave it till eight, to call then to have my own look at

W. contends still, "This is my 73rd, not my 72nd birthday"—meaning that the 72nd anniversary is the 73rd

shoulder (I was working)—that my signature was one of the hardest he knew to imitate.

My offer to light the gas was rejected, though he used my arm to assist him in doing the thing for himself

Then he reached forward and took my hand. "I see what you mean, Horace.

"When a man comes to my pass he'd best take the next step as quickly as possible."

But that work—that work: we must get it done before I write down 'finis' next my name."

Is this my sorry face?

For one thing, it gives me a wedge-shaped head—yet my head is not wedge-shaped—nor is the bust: if anything

, my head is rather chunky."

The Herald brings back one of the good stories of my dear Daddy: there was a man named Smith, or something

, who ran off, owing a lot of money, among others to my father—perhaps a hundred dollars or so to him

s on my way home at 5.30. He sat fanning himself—the day very hot.

My newsman gave me a copy of the Atlantic (specimen) of December last.

Finally he admitted my distinction, and further that he perhaps did Ingersoll injustice.At 7.20, hurrying

—some of them in a wrapper improvised from the envelope of one of my letters.

I said Gosse had shown a leaning my way—was more than cursorily courteous and warm.

It will serve to back up my answer. Was it you who asked me?""Yes—I asked the question."

Dear Sir:When my friend Mr.

The Leaves of Grass have become a part of my every-day thought and experience.

Harry has always been ten times over my friend where once would have done.

During the pause he laughed very gently and took my hand and said: "See—I am off again—talking about

my health—as if there was nothing in the world but my pains and aches to be considered."

That eases my conscience." We exchanged rolls of proofs.

My sister Gussie had sent him in some asparagus. "Oh! it was princely!

Spent the rest of my timetilluntil bed writing letters for W. Friday, July 6, 1888.

W. not home the moment of my call, so I sat down in the parlor, reading and waiting.

buildings which he could descry from his position on the wharf—"the big buildings—all gone up since my

My description appeared greatly to interest him, and he questioned me keenly in detail, as is his wont

Dave will leave it absolutely in my hands to arrange.

"You'll find it easily," he said, "say I sat in my usual place up there—my chair turned this way"—wheeling

I am disposed more and more to keep to my room—not to go out. Which I see—count—to be a bad sign."

Those fellows have one virtue—they always use good paper: and on that I manage to do a good deal of my

"I've been taken and taken beyond count—taken from every side—even from my blind side"—laughing—"taken

I must be satisfied now if I have succeeded in hinting at matters which it was a part of my original

"I had my temptations, but they were not strong enough to tempt.

"I suppose I did: I wrote things down: I saw them better in my handwriting than in my mind's eye—could